There is stuff that I have wanted to write to you about for a long time but I just didn't know how to get it down on paper for you. It's really hard for me to communicate with you. I think one of the things that is a barrier between me being able to get closer to you was the fact that I can't really trust you for a lot of reasons. I don't know what went wrong for you when I was little but the way you treated me was really hard for me. I remember you were really hard on me and I remember that you used to shout at me a lot. I don't know if you have the ability to put yourself in the place of a small child but it's really hard to deal with a grown man shouting at you all the time as a little kid. You used to scare me with your belt and you used to hit me a lot of times and I don't always remember why. I know that you can say that you think you were trying to help me but in fact what you did was very abusive and has caused a lot of damage to me emotionally and psychologically even in my adult life I treat people with a lot of anger the same way that you treated me with. I don't expect this to help things between us because I feel pretty set in my ways the same as you pretty much seem to be the same as well. I don't expect you to change or for things to get better. I wish they did but I have a lot of anger towards you and it's too much for me to handle trying to get too close to you without feeling intense rage towards you. So I am writing you a letter to try to help you to understand me and try to get to know me better. I still have a lot of memories from the past and from you hitting me, especially the time you hit me in my mom's old apartment near the mall of the Americas. I still remember you slapping my face with both of your hands over and over and shouting at me. You pinned me down on my bed with your hands holding my arms down attacking me for stressing out my mom. I was always hanging out in the street because Lazaro abused my mom and he molested me too just in case you want to know. It makes me so angry I cry about it that you could treat me like that. Like I am some piece of garbage human being for you to kick around like I was nothing. How dare you having had treated me like that and you think that you are a good dad? You think you deserve a relationship with me after abusing me mentally and physically and abandoning me when I needed you to protect me from Lazaro abusing my mom and me? Who the hell do you think you are? You are nobody to me. You are nobody and you are nothing to me. You are a joke to me. I laugh about how stupid you are and I think you are an insult to even think you even deserve to have a daughter like me in your life.