UGH I WISH I COULD ERASE MY EX BEST FRIEND FROM MY MEMORY.
In August last year we had a huge fight on a late night drive about her mental health and how I have been wanting her to get help for years with her bulimia and depression. She was so deep in it and would only share the details with me and our friendship was becoming toxic. I couldn't handle being a part of it anymore. I told her she needed to get help and we haven't talked since. I don't want to be enabling her so I thought by doing that she might feel the push to get help in order to reconnect with me, but instead she decided not to speak to me again. The point is that I don't want to give in and let her and I be toxically friends again, but I miss her and think of her almost every day. We've known each other since we started ballet together at age nine and this is the longest we've ever gone without talking or seeing each other.
And here's the kicker: ever since the fight, my friendships with our mutual friends have been falling apart because I'm certain they think I was terrible to her or something during the fight... and they still hang out with her instead of me. I don't want to go around telling these mutual friends about her problems so that they can be my friends again, because I don't want to ruin the chance of ever being her friend again. I haven't talked with anyone except my family and friends who don't know my ex best friend personally about the situation. But I feel so worn down by it all. It just hurts.
#rant #ouch #bestfriend #mentalhealth #relationshipproblems #frustrated