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Me: I should go get a shower.
Me: *plays dumb games on the internet for hours*
Me: I still need to get that shower.
Me: *gets distracted drawing something stupid*
-5 hours later-
Me: okay, I REALLY need to go get a shower.
Me: *crawls into bed*
Me: *sleeps*

#depression #motivation #iambadatlife

This is about to get very dark, so if you're easily bothered by the mention of mental illness or suicidal thoughts, please don't read this. Please stay safe.

I've been struggling with Severe Depression and Severe Anxiety for years now. At first it was doable, but I feel like I'm drowning. I've gotten testing done through my Psychiatrist to find which antidepressants would work best for me, and she's been changing up my meds every three weeks or so. I also see a therapist wee... read more

I'm so alone. I'm 23. I have no friends. The only family I speak to is my grandfather and his health is too bad to talk to about anything. I'm worried he will have a stroke worrying about me.
I live with my boyfriend and we have 2 kids (one is 3 years and on is 10 months). Two beautiful happy boys! But still I feel so alone. My boyfriend and I rarely get along anymore. We don't like any of the same activities. He likes to be outdoors riding four wheelers or taking his truck o... read more

I'm worried about my long distance boyfriend. He has no hope left for our future and just any future at all. He wants to take away the pain by taking his life and he's just tired of everything. He said "nothing matters anymore". He did try to commit before when I was on vacation but the attempt failed thankfully. I don't know what to do because I don't have a way to make it down to him. My parents don't approve of me visiting him even though he needs someone physically by his... read more

my thoughts are all over the place rn and i'm not sure if this is going to help with anything but yeah, i don't like what my life has turned into and i keep having all of these depressing thoughts and i just can't seem to escape them this time, i feel worthless and unloved and alone.
i'm honestly so sick and tired of myself and i'm ashamed of how little i've been doing these past few years. i remember when i was younger i thought i'd get my sh** together by now, get over my c... read more

I always feel like my problems dont matter. That it doesnt matter of im in pain or struggling, because everyone I know has it worse. I feel like what I go through means nothing, my pain means nothing, my feelings mean nothing, I Am Nothing. #Worthless #Depression #Useless #Selfharm

I just want to cut. Cut deep and big. I want to see the open wound and watch it bleed and see the white beneath my skin and the yellow poke out. But Lately i just dont seem to have the ability to do it. Lately ive been hesitating with my strength. When I do cut, its not very big or deep enough, which does not satisfy me and it makes me feel further more worthless and stupid and useless for not being able to cut the way I intended. I just want to cut. Im tired and lost and con... read more

Today I am grateful that the thundering herd that lives in the apartment upstairs has been blissfully silent so that I can just feel sh**y without having a horrible headache as a bonus. I will never understand why some people are so f***ing lucky and don't appreciate it while the rest of the world trudges forward with varying degrees of disarray, disgust, disenchantment, feeling depressed and discouraged. #depression

I hate the fact that people act like my depression is lesser because of my age. I'm sorry, but it doesn't matter if you're 13 or 35. If you are depressed/suicidal, it's shouldn't be considered valid for one and over-reacting for the other. My age doesn't change the fact that I'm constantly miserable and have thoughts about killing myself. It's really f***ing sick that people can think just because I'm not an adult means that I can't have valid thoughts or actions #depression

Yes, I cheated on the person I was dating a year ago before I met you. Yes, I did feel terrible and I wasn't proud of it. You found out after looking through an old phone of mine after you decided to charge it up and made the choice to scroll through the messages. You called me to tell me I was a horrible person even though I was already aware of that. You called me a s*** and that from now on you were going to call me your "little s***." I asked you to not call me that, that... read more

f*** im so f***ing pathetic. im so f***ing envious of my friend's talents. i feel disgusting. they have beautiful artworks meanwhile im sitting here in a pile of my unfinished works. i have so many unfinished drawings. i cant seem to find to motivation to finish anything. all my works look dumb and gross and i hate it. i hate it so much. i hate myself so much. i have no right to envy them everyone worked hard to get to where they are now. im still stuck at the bottom. and im ... read more

This week I got very stressed, because my dad scheduled all these concerts and such without asking for us to go to. The dates are very inconvenient because im taking two summer college classes. im afraid to tell my dad i dont want to go though. when my mom brought up how upset i was, he started cursing a lot, calling us "f***in ungrateful motherf***ers" and listing off all the things he has given me. and that doing as little as i do shouldnt be that hard. i feel awful about i... read more

My house burnt down in February. I was home alone... i found the fire and had to watch the only home I've ever known for all my 21 years burn. Along with both my jobs (i was a makeup artist and a seamstress) Soon after i was diagnosed with depression and mild ptsd. Made worse by a pre-existing anxiety disorder...
Its been a few months now and im in therapy and while i know I've made huge steps in recoving my mental health. My mother is always making it out like im not trying ... read more

I've been having such a bad time and I don't know where to go.
I'm very suicidal and so much has happened in these past few days
Someone who I'm in love with I dating someone terrible who doesn't deserve to be with my love.
I've tried my best to get my love to understand why I don't like this person (He's cheated on someone before in a past relationship, blamed their stress on someone's mental disorder, is just disrespectful in general) but they don't get it and it got to the... read more

Every time I try to talk to my mom about my suicidal thoughts, she just goes "But you wouldn't do that, because that would mean you'd go to Hell forever! :)" I guess she's trying to help, but I'm not even very religious and all it does is make me feel even less listened to. I just want her to take me seriously instead of assuming I have the same mindset as she does and that I would never do that. It just sucks because I feel like nobody will listen to me- I don't want to worr... read more

I feel entirely useless right now

My dad probably still thinks I have autism ever since I came out to him, my friends all hate me since the only time we ever talk is in school or if they need something, and everyone who does 'like' me thinks that I'm miserable and a terrible person

I just want to kill myself so badly but I'm scared to do it

My depression has gotten worse over the year, and I got off my meds thinking I can live without them last year, when in reality I need... read more

Maybe my uncle killed himself because he knew what the family would say about him after he died. It's been years since he died and my parents have yet to remember him fondly. He wasn't a cruel person. He was lonely. I remember the last few times I spoke with him and he kinda reminded me of myself. And I'm depressed too. He earned his doctorates and worked his a** off for his university, just as I plan to do. He was brilliant. And my parents keep calling him stupid. I'm not ab... read more

After hearing about me having a horrid breakdown in the middle of my school day a couple of weeks ago from my school guidance counselor, my father decided to "talk" with me about it only to pass it off as a "one time thing" and a "hormone problem". I want to tell him this wasn't the first time and that my guidance counselor suggests that I be evaluated by an expert for mental illnesses, but I'm afraid of being virtually shrugged off once again. I don't want to seem like I'm m... read more

Sometimes I feel like I can't heal my own wounds..
Deep down I know I need help.
Deep down I know I need supports.
need someone by my side to help me get thru this.
But it's so difficult when I've been broken, shattered into a million tiny pieces.
I do nothing but push people away once they start showing they care about me.
or show some type of affection towards me.
I instantly shut them out.
I don't know whats like for someone to be there for me..
a part of me wants me to le... read more

There's this guy who's been hanging around me lately, he's made it clear that he likes me and he essentially treats me like I was his girlfriend. The problem is, I really like him, yet I still can't help but wonder why he would even take a second look at me. He's easily an 8/10, tall, intelligent, genuinely down-to-earth, very affectionate and friendly, that kind of person. I'm aware that people often find me physically attractive, but I personally don't like how I look and I... read more