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I'm really tired of my "friends" saying they are "ready to die" and that they want to kill themselves over extremely minor, asinine reasons. I feel so pissed off when I try to vent my problems to them and they generate a retarded, overused "same". I have an abusive, over-protective mother who hits me, raids my room, and monitors my phone on a daily basis, only to get pissed off when I say that I hate/don't trust her. The only people I assume care about me are a couple of my f... read more
Every time I try to talk to my mom about my suicidal thoughts, she just goes "But you wouldn't do that, because that would mean you'd go to Hell forever! :)" I guess she's trying to help, but I'm not even very religious and all it does is make me feel even less listened to. I just want her to take me seriously instead of assuming I have the same mindset as she does and that I would never do that. It just sucks because I feel like nobody will listen to me- I don't want to worr... read more
I have severe depression and it irks me so much when people compare me to Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. Eeyore is a fictional character whose only defining personality trait is depression. I am an actual human being and I shouldn't be associated with a character who is the living embodiment of depression. Besides, I don't recall any times where Eeyore contemplated suicide by overdosing on his meds or drowning himself in the pool. I don't remember any times where he was still a... read more
I've been told time and time again "It gets better", but my craving for death is only growing each day. I'm losing myself. As it is I basically rely on sleep as an escape from life to the point where I'll want to go back to sleep even though I'd just woken up because I can't handle being awake. My life is a living hell, and I don't know how much more I can take. I'm losing my mind.
#suicide #suicidal #depression #anxiety #mentalillness
Oh my God, I can't believe myself. I want so badly to be strong; to get through. I've had severe depression for years and it's only worsening, even with treatment. However, for the first time I just looked up ways to commit suicide through overdosing on meds. I'm terrified for myself. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live. I feel like I'll never be happy again. Every plan I've ever had has fallen through, all that I was living for is being taken away from me, and I do... read more
Everyone knows I'm suicidal,
My mom, my dad, siblings, boyfriend.
Hell, even my boyfriend's family knows.
But they don't care, or they at least don't care enough to get me help.
I am going to be getting my self help.. But it's just ridiculous... I've told them that I can't do this anymore, that I want to die, everything, you would think that at least my mom would set up a counclers appointment , and it's not like it's a money issue or anything...
I've actually begged my mom t... read more
I don't know how to start this because i have so many problems, and this is going to be long. But, okay so, I am so tired of life. I always have suicidal thoughts every time I do something wrong, even the smallest problems. Because it's like, a tiny problem stacked with another small (or big) problems added up every single time. So it makes it a big problem, i don't even know if that makes sense but yeah. I self-harmed last time, i cut my arm. But let's talk about this, I fee... read more
This week was the first time I self harmed and it left a mark. I think it's going to scar. I've been going to counseling, and I feel like I was getting better. Well, at least I think my counselor thought I was getting better, but really I just kinda felt empty. It's been so hard to do schoolwork, because I feel too overwhelmed to do it, or like I have more time than I have, so I haven't been sleeping much. I want people to think I'm fine but I know I'm not. Maybe I'm better t... read more
I've had alot of points in time where i wanted to kill myself, even tried a few times when i was 12-15. I've tried to suffocate myself with a pillow, bleed out, starve myself and even burn my hands or make myself deaf so i can't hear insults anymore.
It all started after my parents broke up when i was 11- because of this my mum got engaged with a new man, one who i would find to be verbally abusive especially recently.
I can't do anything right in his eyes. I was bullie... read more
I'm incredibly unhappy right now. It's only been a few hours since my boyfriend dumped me, but it feels as if I haven't seen him in days. I cried for a few hours. He was actually the only thing that made me happy and my only will to live. I'm terrified because I'm extremely suicidal. I loved him more than anything. He was my entire world. I just really don't know what to do right now. I think I do have a chance at getting him back though. He insists he's still in love with me... read more
I feel very worthless and disgusting. I am extremely unmotivated. I've spent the last week mostly asleep. I have two finals tomorrow and I'm just so overwhelmed i just want to shut my eyes and sleep through them. I miss my girl. I feel so f***ing useless. I hung myself two nights ago for a hot second. I pussied out though and picked myself back up. If I hadn't, chances are my body would still be hanging there, no one would know for about a week or more I'm guessing. I am so c... read more
I'm on a 10 driving hour trip with my bf but I plan to break up with him when we get home. He's clinically suicidal so I set up with his family to take care of him when we get back. I am at a low point in my life and need to work on myself and he needs to grow up on his own. I can't deal with him threatening me or threatening to kill himself anymore :( I feel awful knowing what awaits when I get back to town.
#suicidal #depression #breakup #love
I honestly don't think I can stand to be alive much longer
Everything I do makes me want to put a bullet in my Brain. And it doesn't feel like anyone would care. I'm starting to annoy my friends, I can sense it.
And my girlfriend definitely can't help. I've been in our bed crying and instead of trying to figure out how to help, she went the duck to sleep.
I got a tattoo a few days ago that happens to cover my self harm scars, but I want to tear into them until I bleed out.
A... read more
Sure there may be no actual purpose to life itself, but you're the one to mold your own purpose. Everyone gets forgotten eventually, that's why it's your and the people around you who's experiences matter for the time being. To end that experience is not only doing nothing to help others, but is ending your own to make it physically incapable of making anything better. Mistakes are memories, and as much as anyone would like to say otherwise, ending yourself won't do anything ... read more
I am worth more than 8.75 an hour. I'm worth more than 9 an hour. But the hard truth is I might never get it. And it might be completely my fault. It's my fault because I dropped out of college. It's my fault because I didn't do well in school. It's my fault because despite my mental illness I am only able to do so much. I only have so much motivation and that's all because of patterns and habits that I picked up myself.
But that doesn't mean that the moment I try to assert ... read more
I am going to be a junior in high school and I have intense anxiety. It has only gotten worse as the summer has progressed and I feel all of this pressure on me and I honestly just don't want to live. I've always had an undertone of passive suicidal tendencies but recently, anytime I try to think past the summertime I get nauseous. I sincerely don't want to live to see next school year and I just want some horrible thing to happen to me so that I can die before then and it wi... read more