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These past few months have been rough. I have felt so alone and low, that picking myself up seems almost impossible. I have no direction or ambition or desire to do anything. I honestly just want to sleep and get drunk.
My family hates me. I have no friends. I have no f***ing love life. I feel completely alone.
I've been told that I deserve nothing than a partner that will hit me. I've been called ugly and fat. I've been told my dreams are worthless....
I just don't know what... read more

For some reason I am forever misplacing my deodorant, but I think that's changed, I now stick it in the bra drawer.

I tried to lie as early as possible.

I am really happy that I passed my permit test. I tried to get my license last summer, but ran out of time because winter came. I was really nervous because I only got to study this morning, but I passed!! Now hopefully, I can pass my road test this time!

I still hate you.

I don't think about ending my life, I just think it would be better if I never existed because I put the people around me through so much pain. They deserve better and I know I should become better, but I'm rotten and can't change. I ruined my family's gathering tonight. I'm the most horrible person ever.

I feel uncomfortable in my own body. I have pretty mediumish breasts and even the word makes me want to gag and scrape my tongue despite not even saying it aloud. They're so f***ing annoying and useless and disgusting and I f***ing hate them. They get in the way of everything and I can't even run anymore without feeling like someone's staring at them. I could be alone in my room and still feel immensely uncomfortable with how much they bloody move. I don't know why but I ment... read more

The sad fact: if you want to be alone or see who your true friends are tell them your suicidal, then you'll be alone. No friends. Cool.

I said something so unkind about someone once. It was heartless and uncalled for. I mocked, I laughed, I made my friends laugh. I was hit with a twinge of guilt, just enough to know it was wrong but not enough to care. It was forgotten. Years and years later, I was paid back in an ironic way. It directly related to the way I mocked these people. It has been one of the most impactful paybacks of my life. I recalled what I had done, long ago. I haven't been on the earth too lon... read more

Clarrie hopes everyone is having a really good day.

The only place a burka makes sense is in a sand storm.
Don't think we have those here.

Why am I still awake
I need to wake up 2 hours later

I wonder what it is like to actually enjoy life to feel excited about it

Love my beach scented lotion. So I can be at work, and fanaticize I am at the beach :)

Well, since the mom was so torn up about loosing that one kitten I promised I'd do everything within my power to keep her from losing the other three (which are also wounded). I didn't want to spend my day cleaning sores but there you have it. That momma is so heartbroken... She stands like a sentry to the entrance of the garage and won't let anyone go in (unless you're human and large).

I'm just tired of life .
Since day 1 I've been rejected unloved and unwanted ....some would say "how do you know if you were just a baby?"
Well I never stopped hearing what a disappointment I was to my mother for being a female and not male. As she was expecting a male baby.....up until the day she abandoned me and left me to be taken care of by my father ....where I grew for a few years until he found a new family leaving me and my brother alone. From there my sister disowne... read more

my life sucks, I find myself always distancing away from everything , its sucks i mean besides from the fact that i have severe depression, anxiety i mean i also suffer from post dramatic stress also kinda have schizophrenia im just the last person people talk too i dont understand how im so lonely i tried everything i just dont get it i dont wanna do this anymore i just wanna go away but there is no place for people like me even hell cant handle me

I cant think of anything positive this just is not going well I think my pancreatitis is acting up again

What? I don't have life.

I just feel so empty right now. Numb, too. Yet I feel this deep ache in my heart that sends out pulses of intense pain throughout my body. Sometimes it hurts so f***ing bad that I just want to die so I don't have to feel it anymore. Or just cut myself so badly that I start worrying about how long I've got left if I keep doing this rather than feeling the pain of my hurt. I really want to cry, but I have no tears. Nothing f***ing comes when I'm extremely sad or scared or angry... read more