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I'm a walking contradiction. I have the biggest social anxiety you could imagine and I struggle with everyday tasks, yet I work a job where I'm constantly surrounded by people and talk in front of crowds. Anxiety attacks are common.

I really CANNOT make friends!! It's the most impossible task in the world. Either they hate me from the get go, they get bored, think I'm a huge weirdo or ignore me. What am I doing wrong?? How do I small talk or approach people? How do I get them to be interested in me?

I am pretty sure I make the world worse by being here, mainly for my family and my one friend. I wish suicide was easier. I wish there was no pain or fear involved and I could just do it. I always hurt everyone around me.


I FOUND my scissors! All is well in the world!! I literally use them for everything and they are my only pair. I am also an art student, so I would have been in big trouble. Kind of scared me though because I thought I threw them away, but that never happened. Pretty much made up a scenario in my head that never happened.....

I wanna spend my Saturday eating a diner breakfast, sipping girly alcoholic beverages and saying to myself "here's to not getting fired for gross incompetence", but I gots a family lunch on Sunday involving overpriced mediocre dim sum.

That guy was right. I really do need to be nurtured and valued and taken care of. I know that my family does those things, but not in the way that I NEED. I NEED to feel loved, told that I am special and be treated like a princess. I know that all sounds so selfish, but I honestly have never gotten that from a guy before. At least not in a genuine and caring way. Whenever my dad would do something nice for me it was only to prove a point, to prove he was better then my mother... read more

A big fear of mine is that I'm gonna end up all alone, homeless and lost. I feel like I'm halfway there...

I have decided that I will get better no matter what. I know that I may have selective hearing, but it is only because of the lack of attention I have. I just have to learn where to put my attention to and the appropriate times to do it. I have to learn to be patient and fully try to understand what that person is saying instead of just waiting for my turn. I really do want to be a great listener and want to be like Kurt Cobain where he just listened to people.

Only thing stopping me from suicide is that is permanent but best believe I'm done with life

I am pretty sure I have selective hearing or something similar. My mom told me that I always have ignored people even when I was really little. I know that when I was a kid it was a problem, but now it has gotten worse and more frequent. I have been purposely ignoring people now because my roommate was being an a** to me and I honestly got tired of hearing bulls***. So I literally shut myself down. As a result of this my victim blaming got worse, I got more depressed, and my ... read more

I wish I had friends....real friends.

''What's the difference between a calendar and me? A calendar has dates'' This quote I found basically sums up my life.

Anyone else lonely, depressed and just done with all the bulls*** out there?

Today I wasted my time going to an information session about a job that would then interview me and call me "lackadaisical". I don't know if she wanted to inadvertently insult me or she genuinely did not know what she meant, either way she was late, gave you a piercing stare for no reason and berated you at random. As much as I loved attending that information session, I didn't. Also, I don't know why a sudden gash in my wallet bled me out $150.00 suddenly... Like wow, I coul... read more

How do I be positive when all I ever get is negativity in my life

When the guy you wanted doesn't want you anymore , when you're too damn skinny , when you don't get any breaks and life isn't fun at all. 🙄 Dear lord

Today I felt like wanking and then my dog took my lube and ran away. I am sad and depressed and now I need to walk around knowing my dick is ashy as f***.

I made a New Year's Resolution to myself to grow a f***ing spine. I don't know whether that was a stupid idea, or if it's just stupid that I haven't tried it yet...

I'm beyond stressed out work everyday and school everyday this is ridiculous . 🙄 Not even allowed to be sick. My love life is sh**y. Just ugh