I'm a married woman age 25-34 and I've been married for ten years now... just realized that came off a little 12 step-ish. (No offense to those trying to better themselves...) My marriage has definitely had it's ups but lately it's been kinda down in the dumps. Long story short, I simply am torn between keeping my family whole or tearing it apart. This has been festering in my mind since the beginning of this year and I try to ignore it and focus more energy into my marriage, but on the inside I'm just hurting. I'm losing, sleep, weight, and my mind. The weight of this decision is crushing me from the inside out. I love him. I always will but I fear that it isn't enough anymore. Like for example, I will always love my birth parents. They gave me life. However, they also gave my pain and ptsd... therefore, I no longer involve them in my life. He has given me pain. Not physically but in other ways. I live under a rock to appease him and his fear of losing me. I know I may have cause this dilemma by doing so because now I'm ready to just be! To exist again. I want to feel human. To not have my every move questioned. To be able to not hear my mom say, "I miss you. I'd love to go out with you if he would let you." I love him, and the thought of being without him is agonizing even tho he gave me the opportunity to experience that for a few months. #ImTorn #Venting #RelationshipProblem #CowardlyLion