Six or seven months ago we used to talk, flirt and joke around with each other a lot. I was getting the sense that he liked me. And I liked him, so I couldn't wait to get closer. But he disappeared for almost half a year. (The reason was understandable, but I'm THAT paranoid that he'll see this somehow so I don't wanna tell all the details.) When he came back, it seemed he could barely look at me. I see him nearly everyday but we hardly talk. I have no idea why he isn't talking to me anymore. He only says hi when he HAS to because he doesn't want to be impolite I guess. Only talks to me when he has mediocre questions about things totally unrelated to me. "Do you have a paper and pen I can borrow?" "Do you know where [so and so] is?" Really dude? You're really gonna bump us down to 'acquaintances'? That sucks.

I mean, I know I'm not the best at showing what I feel. I come from a not so touchy feely family so I hide behind jokes, sarcasm and trouble making most times. But I don't just let ANYONE touch me. Every time he was around, I gave him my full attention. Surely he must've thought about that! Or at least had the sense that I liked him.

If he just doesn't like me anymore, then fine. Can't help who you fall for, can't help you fall out of love with I guess. But we can't even be friends? I don't get it! I don't get him! He's so confusing! I've tried keeping a conversation in the air but he seemed like he didn't wanna stay long and he wasn't even looking at me as he was answering my questions so I just stopped and left him alone. I just don't get why he wouldn't talk to me like normal. Did I do something wrong? I seriously cannot think of anything I couldn't done! Even HE used to call me a 'good girl' and would say things like, 'you're too nice.' What could I have possibly done?!?! I just hate that I lost what might've been and hate even more that I lost a friend.

#IMissHim #venting #love #GuysAreConfusing