I always have had trouble making friends, from what I remember, but when I do, they're always impossibly close. When I was in Kindergarten, I had a kid named mitch, and we went through half of first grade together before he moved out of state. Second grade it was Scott, but his dad died and he got utterly depressed. Third grade I was the class clown, so I had a few followers, DURING school, but before the year started, I met these two guys that We're freaking awesome. They were the friends that had the mom who called our mom at 7:00 and were like: 'hey come over for a few minutes!' and our mom was like: 'I'll be there in 10' and we ended up staying there until 2:00 am. We were close. At the end of that year, they moved to California. This was a bombshell to me. They were the closest friends I ever had. For the years following, I had many, many problems making friends, and even holding a conversation with anyone. When I wasn't with my 'one' for that year, I was sitting alone in the corner. Fourth grade, I was the fat kid with one friend in a different class. He moved to Greenville, Alabama the next year. Fifth grade, I was the bully/big boss. Then sixth grade began. I met two guys, not brothers this time, but pretty awesome. We were the unstoppable 3, constantly laughing and joking by ourselves. Seventh grade, same concept. eighth grade, one of the two and I had a falling out. that left the two of us. We stuck together through heaven, hell, and satan himself. Then came the end of eighth grade. He told me he was switching schools to do the ROTC program. I get to ninth grade, high school and all, and there he was. After a solid WTF?! conversation we were clearly not gonna give up on each other that easy. He remained my only friend throughout the rest of that year.
October 2015 I decided to try this whole love and romance thing out. I asked someone to homecoming, a fellow sophomore. We ended up dating. I didn't necessarily like her but found her attractive. about three weeks later, she dumped me, and the summer following I found out why. She'd gotten pregnant by another guy. I moved on, forgot about it. Before Junior year(this year), I found another girl and began talking to her. I was going to ask her out the traditional way, a couple of dates, then the big question, you know, but then she made a theory that I had a crush on her, then there was this whole ordeal that I had to go through to prove her wrong(The reason why is because she is really good friends with this guy who keeps telling her that he likes her then when she says she doesn't like him he says he just can't stand to be around her.). So that ended before it began. School started, and after a little while, there was this freshman that got my attention. I eventually decided I liked her and proceeded to act normal around her. She got my snapchat and we began 'snapping'. Then the band went to Disney world and that's when things between us kicked off really well. Meanwhile, I got roomed with the friend from before that I had a falling out with three years ago. We made up. He got a girlfriend in the process(not my crush. After Disney, I was in the band room one day when I got news that got me utterly depressed. She was moving to Washington D.C. That was in December, and now it's march. I'm still depressed. To make things worse, my best friend just broke the news that he's moving to Mississippi. f*** my life. I'm scared to even tell anyone how I feel because of the IDGAF reputation my peers have of me. I started out this school year on a new note, the first day of school I spent talking to a girl for the first time in my life. How in god's name did it lead to this?
Please comment if you made it all the way through. Am I being paranoid, forcing myself to be a sociopath or suffering from some sort of PTSD-forced social anxiety? Thank you for listening. I really want an opinion. I know this story isn't finished, but I just wanted to get someone else's opinion.
#feels #dating #HighSchool