I've been wondering if I should leave my boyfriend.
I never get to see him and I'm so needy in my relationships. I need to be held, someone to wipe away my tears. I need the physical touch of another person. Being in a long distance relationship is so hard for me. Never getting to see him, its so hard.
I'm just scared he's going to kill himself if I break up with him. I know if he does decide to commit suicide if I break up with him, it won't be my fault. I've known him for a long time, almost my whole life, I'm almost 18 years old, in august. I don't want to lose his friendship, and I don't want to see him in a casket.
He was going to kill himself a couple months ago. I was so scared that he would succeed this attempt so I begged him not to. He wasn't budging. I realized my only option was to give him a purpose to live. I liked him but as a friend, though in a time of desperation I broke and told him I loved him and told him his purpose could be to make me happy. I'm not sure that I truly meant it then or not but I grew to love him or so I thought.
He started making wedding plans within the first two weeks, not just talking about marriage, but he quite literally meant it. I'm so young and commitment is scary I have my whole life ahead of me. I want to be sure of what I want and need in a relationship before I can readily commit to one person for the rest of my life.
I don't know how to let him down easy. I don't want to lie to him when I break up with him, but sometimes you have to lie to spare other people's feelings in these kind of situations.
So I guess my problem is, How am I to approach this? What am I to say? I really need your help I am so stressed about this it hurts.