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All jokes Assad,

things are getting pretty Syrias.

President Trump - President Trump - President Trump
He promised it ... HE WILL DO IT! Trump ... the REAL DEAL!

Trump-backing congressman says GOP will use "budget reconciliation" to repeal Obamacare in first 100 days.
Party will use budget procedure that would let them jam it through, depriving Senate Democrats of the filibuster.

GOOD RIDDANCE AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE ACT - HELLO MY BANK ACCOUNT GOING BACK UP!!!!!

I can't wait for him to undo -EVERYTHING- that Obama did!

Am... read more

THE BEEF IS SO FKING UNDERCOOKED IT'S EATING THE BLOODY SALAD!

Oh my god I hear my parents OH MY GOD EW SOMEONE HELP WHAT THE f***

I masturbated with a candle the other night.

I'll be honest with some of you boys out there,
Some of us will never find true love.
If you're fat
If you're ugly
If you're acne prone
If you're not fit
If you're not attractive
Maybe you'll find someone who likes you for you, for your personality...... But whats the f***ing point in that?
Won't you always live with the fact that knowing you're not with her because you're not attractive.
What if some motherf***er with the same personality walks in except..... He's attractive... read more

So my wife came up to me and said, "Take off my shirt."

So I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I took off her skirt. "Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes. "Now my hose, bra, and panties."

I took them off. Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."

Equal rights for women!!!

I'm a woman!! I'm your equal!

hey you can't hit me!!! :)

But seriously, if you're going to steal someone's idea do it at least with a grain of dignity. You had no idea what I was going to incorporate into the story to get Asriel into that position to begin with. Your fanfic has no buildup and no style. You can't cut straight to the action, that's not erotic that's desperate. Everything in your story is out in the open to begin with, nothing is left to the imagination except what f***ing shouldn't be. My story has subtlety and nuanc... read more

Hi I am a thirteen year old boy and I think I am very healthy. Last night I fell asleep on my stomach and then all of a sudden my crotch got tingly and it felt kinda good so I slept like that. This morning I think I peed myself but it was really white and sticky. Someone please help me! Am I sick?

Are you ready kids? AYE AYE CAPTAIN! I cant hear youuuu! AYE AYE CAPTAIN! Oooooo who lives with a GPA under a C? CO-LLEGE STU-DENTS! Who's living with stress-induced anxiety? CO-LLEGE STU-DENTS! If wanting to drop out is something you wish. CO-LLEGE STU-DENTS! Then take a long nap and watch some netflix!

-✨🌧

What would republicans say and do if hillary was president and Chelsea and her husband were her closest advisors? What about Chelsea getting top secret clearance and an office but somehow avoiding nepotism laws? Would you buy Chelsea Clinton boots at Nordstrom or boycott them after her mom flipped out on twitter?

If you can't stand the heat gtfo of the muttr kitchen. 🐣🍳🥚🥚🥚

Escort makes $7000 a night where do I sign up

Whether you like it or not, if you are a man who has grown up in the United States or really any Western culture, you have picked up some aspect of toxic masculinity. This doesn't mean you are a rapist, but it probably means you have been taught to objectify or underestimate women at some point. Own it.

There's a gay guy in the office who keeps looking at me. So I'm not gay but I think I might let him suck my dick.

I love my chemistry teacher. He doesn't teach at my school. He works at a coaching centres I go to. He is 26 and I am 17.
He is really hot. He is also extremely smart and funny and intelligent. Thinking about him makes me wet. Last night, I dreamt that we were kissing. He was touching me at all the right places. I wish it was reality.
Whenever I see him, I imagine him naked. I just want him to grab my boobs and squeeze them like lemons. I want to 69 with him.
Sometimes I thin... read more

My boyfriend just had a pee inside me during sex, what a disgusting prick!

Dear fat people, what made you fat?

So i just watched the second Batman v Superman trailer and i am soooooo dissapointed! Whos idea was it to cast Jesse Eissenberg as Lex Luthor?! He just doesnt fill the role in my opinion. After seeing him in movies like 30 Minutes or Less and Pineapple Express i just cant take him seriously in this role. It really frustrates me because i am a huge DC fan; i want DC to make good movies and succeed in their cinematic campaign but i just dont think they can compete with the amaz... read more