nise099 says

First I'll say: Wow. I guess I haven't been on here in a while. I like the new layout! Now, on to why I even logged on. I have a cyst on my vocal chords. It's horrible to know that there is something in my body that I can't control. Something that I can't change without a surgery that will leave me voiceless for at least a week, that will change my voice entirely. I am scared that I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life. I've already had it removed twice. I can't ke... read more

  • Sep 9
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nise099 says

Guess I'm not worthy of your time, not even 5 minutes..

  • Aug 30
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nise099 says

I know you know you cut me pretty deep and I now know that you just don't care, which is fine I guess. I'm not really all that important anyway. I know you always said you could and would do better for yourself before we got together, and when we were together I noticed you being weird and I guess it's kind of my fault for not being more upfront and confronting you. I guess I just didn't expect you to do something like this. You use the excuse that you can't have nice things ... read more

  • Aug 26
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nise099 says

"And my b**** called talkin' 'bout some drama"
"She got a man but she says she really like me"
"She doin' things to excite me"

  • Aug 24
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nise099 says

Taylor swift songs and COD zombies? Hell yeah. Screw you and your judgy a**. You knew you meant everything and now I can't even hear your name without a lump forming. I hate you with such a passion. It's true that love and hate are so close. My friend, really? could you be any more of a cliche?! You could have had everything you wanted. I know you better than you know yourself, I could practically read you like a book and yet you decided that it was "too good" and had to f***... read more

  • Aug 19
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nise099 says

I hate that I started liking the music you listen to, I hate that you are the only thing I think of when I hear these songs, I hate that we used to listen to them driving around and laughing at each others terrible singing. I hate that you gave me these memories just to take away everything I ever wanted. You left to chase undesired dreams and I'm waiting for the day you realize just what you lost and how bad you messed up. I'm waiting for you to start asking me for things be... read more

  • Aug 18
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nise099 says

Well... I officially give up.

  • Aug 12
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nise099 says

I think I like my ex again... I'm not sure how to handle this honestly. We haven't talked in so long and now he shows up out of the blue and he's cuter and has bigger muscles and is more grown up and he's pleasant to talk to. He's broken like me and doesn't try to hide it. It was an instant reconnect with him and I forgot how nice it was to just talk to him. I forgot how it felt to be around him. Maybe I should give it another chance?

  • Aug 6
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nise099 says

I want to leave you but I'm scared that you're going to do something stupid to yourself. I don't want to be with you anymore but I don't want to hurt you and then you do something to hurt yourself. I don't want you to think that I'm leaving you for him because I'm not. I want you to be happy but you don't love me, you're in love with the idea of what I could be. Instead of bragging about me; you get jealous and overreact, instead of asking me to stay; you make it about you, i... read more

  • Aug 6
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nise099 says

I think that my depression might win this time.

  • Aug 3
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nise099 says

Just got a text from my ex, wow I guess next I'll see a pig fly and hell will freeze over.

  • Aug 1
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nise099 says

Ugh.. Talk about FOMO.

  • Jul 30
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nise099 says

Can't help but cry when I think of you. We used to be everything, we used to be great. You had everything and that scared you. I'm sorry you've been hurt so deeply but I didn't deserve what you did to me.

  • Jul 29
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nise099 says

I kinda miss the way you used to come in, the way you were always so comfortable around me. I miss you. And I hate that I miss you.

  • Jul 28
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nise099 says

R****,
I loved you. I wanted everything that we talked about with you. I know you left and you had your reasons. I know that you needed to get out of here and start new. I wanted so badly to make our dreams come true. Even if we had gone back to just friends, at least I'd still have you in my life. You broke my heart, love. I miss so much about you and about us.

  • Jul 24
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nise099 says

It's sinking in now.. You'll never come back. We'll never be friends again. I'll never see you walk through the door, you'll never vent to me over a drink, you wont sing stupid songs with me or go for random drives just to waste time. I miss you more than you could imagine... And I know that it's not reciprocated right now. But I think that one day you'll know how it feels too.

  • Jul 24
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nise099 says

So I just found out yesterday that I have yet another cyst on my vocal chords and that they wont operate this time until it gets to the point I can't breathe. I honestly just want to be done with all of this bull crap. I started taking my Bipolar meds again too and now I feel worse. But I know it'll only last a few days. The dark thoughts will subside and I'll make it through. I wont dream about killing myself anymore and I'll be able to pretend that I'm happy again.

  • Jul 20
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nise099 says

*HELP PLEASE* I keep getting calls from a number and when I call it back it says message MO22 and that the phone is no longer in service. The number is 304-851-3270

  • Jul 19
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nise099 says

Don't know what I did to deserve someone on here stalking my sh** just to be hateful but okay. Thanks Muttr. It was great while it lasted, really helped to vent. Now I guess I'll go back to just bottling it up since someone wants to be a jerk. I hope everyone on here has the day they deserve.

  • Jul 11
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nise099 says

Really starting to dislike Muttr.

  • Jul 10
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