StarryEyes says

I write hateful words on my arm in Japanese to punish myself...

Whenever my friends see them I always say something like "Oh, I just wrote 'baka' in Japanese. XD"

I'm honestly just glad that none them can read or write Japanese...

  • 19h
  • 0
StarryEyes says

I honestly don't think my friends care about me...

If I disappeared they just... wouldn't care...

I can barely even talk to my close friends anymore...

  • 20h
  • 2
StarryEyes says

I miss him being happy...

I miss being able to talk normally and help him when he's down...

Now I can't help him...

He won't be okay...

I'm worthless...

I can't help myself, so why can't I help him..?

Why...

  • 20h
  • 3
StarryEyes says

I'm so tired of not being happy. I just want to get the dark thoughts out of my head...

I want to love again...

I want the pain to stop...

  • 21h
  • 7
StarryEyes says

I can't feel love, yet there's someone I want to love so badly..

It honestly just really sucks because if they love me, I could never love them back...

  • 5d
  • 2
StarryEyes says

I can't feel positive emotions.

I can't feel love.
I can't feel happiness.

When I "feel" these positive emotions it just feels fake...

I can feel pain.
I can feel anxiety.
I can feel depression.

I have Emotional Deprivation Disorder.

It honestly sucks.

Only two of my friends irl know this.

I can't remember what it felt like to love and to be loved.

I feel ... read more

  • 6d
  • 1
StarryEyes says

What does love feel like? What does happiness feel like?
I've forgotten what it feels like to love..
To be loved..
To be happy..

I have Emotional Deprivation Disorder..
I've been losing all of my good emotions..

Now all I have is my depression, anxiety, and anger..

Sometimes all I can feel is pain
Just. Pain.

Pain in my stomach.

Unbearable pain.

Like it's never going aw... read more

  • Feb 13
  • 1
StarryEyes says

Both of my friends are in a very happy relationship and everyone supports them. The thing is I like one of them. Yet I always hide my feelings and pretend to be happy for them...
If I ever got together with my crush my other friend would most likely attempt suicide...
That's the whole reason she and my crush got together anyways, she was thinking of suicide...

  • Jan 17
  • 0