does anyone listen to music when they sh? i was doing it in the shower the other day and wanted music, but don't have a dedicated playlist or anything, and don't just want to shuffle.

crawled out of bed to hop in the shower and mutilate my body even more, then remembered that i lose my blade in the move. fml

i feel bad that i keep posting here because no one else really is but i have things to say so im trying to justify myself im hurting badly and i can barely walk with all the cuts. theyre on my arms and my legs and my thighs and my neck and my face and i feel so ugly and sick. my mom keeps telling me to suck it up and that its all my own fault and she thinks im possessed by a demon. im literally losing my mind and shes making me hate myself even more what am i supposed to do? there is literally no escape from all of this i just want to end everything. i need it all over because i cant deal with it anymore,

I'm so fucking sick of this school At this rate my parents will force me back to the psych ward If it gets any worse I think I'm going to start again. Every time I make progress it ends up meaning nothing at all. Life sucks, school sucks, I suck, and there's no point in life whatsoever. Yes I want to get surgery someday and go to a parade and meet up with my best friend but will that ever even happen, even if I live past 17? Probably not

It's been a few days since I last cut but it's just been so terrible at home and I don't know what else to do. It feels like an escape when I don't have anywhere else to go. Honestly what hurts the most is the way my parents will respond; I mean, I've been cutting since I was 8 years old and my parents didn't figure out until I was 13. They just treat me like I'm a freak and a monster and act as though going to church will fix me when I go to a Christian private school five days a week and I go to both services on Sunday (not by choice for either) . What changed? Nothing at all ever changes, I just feel better or worse but it always comes back to this. And I'm honestly starting to think that maybe they're right and that maybe I can't be helped and maybe nobody will ever actually love me for all my scars

When I was younger I used to cut myself. I don’t even remember if it helped. Sometimes I still crave that feeling, it gives you a certain warmth on your skin. But it was so stupid. For years I was terrified of going to the doctor for general checkups with my parents because I didn’t want them to find out. I actually used to vent about it on here and beg people to tell me what would happen at my yearly physicals. I got so so anxious about it I also didn’t go swimming for like four years straight. My grandparents took me on vacation to Las Vegas and they wanted to go to the lazy river but I bullshitted a reason to get out of it. I ghosted friends who almost found out. It wasn’t worth the stress at all. Don’t put yourself through that. Still nobody in my life knows what I did, it’s been like 7 years now. I don’t think I’d ever tell anyone. I mean whats the point?

Posted this as a vent already but ima post it here too even though it’s not exactly related to self harm I’m hoping to get this answered and this is the closest community I think: Does anyone have experience with EMDR therapy? My therapist recommended it. I’m scared to go into it. If you do, please tell me your experience? The more details the better. Thanks

I used to brand myself with safety pins and soda can tabs. My mum took away all the lighters when she found out. Last month, I came very close to relapsing and asked a friend to buy me a lighter for "a science project". She knew about what I used to get up to, but she agreed. I wonder if it occurred to her how deceitful I was being. Either way, it never ended up happening.