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Heading: Party

I got a fifth of 120 proof shine sitting right here,
why don't you join me and we'll see how long it takes you to puke hahaha

I am really upset about Patrick. I should have kept to myself but I had to say something. Now I feel angry inside. Tempe doesn't deserve this. Please God fix this situation and give me peace. Please come into the heart of Patrick and make him stop withholding the children from her. She needs to see her children. Please undo the undoable in the name of Jesus. Please God give me peace in my heart. Please forgive me for overstepping my boundaries. I didn't mean to get all in the... read more

I lost you, I haven't seen you in two months and it still hurts to think about you because part of me still has hope(which is probably worthless at this point). We were never an "item" yet you still managed to break my heart, the worst part is you probably don't care about me and you've moved on already.

4 shots a day hahahahaha I take that while taking a dump!

I used to pride myself on how "in tune" I was with my emotions. Was I, or was I just naive? Is emotional stability like a "Use it or lose it" thing? Did I become broken somewhere down the line? I can hardly stand to be alone anymore. I'm afraid of what I'll say to myself if I'm caught alone in the recesses of my mind. Fear aside, I don't even have time to explore my mind anymore. Am I hurting myself more than helping?

Seriously though. You aren't the only one who hates me. Everyone does. I will deal with it.

Think I made a new friend. I promise I won't make the same mistakes with you that I have with others in the past.

I'm going to sit here and drink coconut water and eat tacos until the sun comes up
What a wild life

I don't know. Right now I want to say I don't care. If I never got another stupid drunken text from you, I just wouldn't f***ing care.

my g**d*** pride won't allow me to be pitied by anyone.It's a rare thing but,when I do get hurt, I push everyone the away from me.But if i'm completely honest with myself,that is slowly eating me up on the inside.

Losing you as a friend is going to help me quit my alcoholic ways, I promise you that. I just began to taper off my dependence. I can't wait to tell you this when I'm sober. I'm so sorry, but I think it was destined that things stopped.

Yup I'm glad my friends moving on I really need a sparring partner and I am so pent up I need to f***ing punch something
Or go for a damn run Jesus I need to get into a routine I am so sick of feeling this unease from not moving or something and I need to play chess because I love puzzles and I love solving things not a mind bender for now just something where I have to use and rinse and repeat tactics

i wish id wake up to her sleeping next to me...

I just woke up and my eyes are so damn red. Seems like I've been crying for hours in my sleep last night. Oh well,nobody cares enough to ask about it anyway.

I know nothing will be right between us ever again. It sucks. It hurts.

I hate my parents' voices. My father's especially. I hated how he would always shout and say that I had to shout too, because that was "projecting your voice, like successful people do". I hated how his face would swim up right next to my ear and go, "HAVE YOU SWEPT THE FLOOR?", or, "HAVEN'T YOU ALREADY TAKEN THAT EXAM?" "GO OUTSIDE AND RUN." Other times he would laugh and look proud of himself. He had a wheezing kind of laugh, the same one that I have. He said, "Told you, ri... read more

What makes you think you are guaranteed anything in life beyond your parents love and even that isn't guaranteed

I keep having those reoccurring dreams about everyone in my life telling me to kill myself and me being a gigantic coward and actually following through it. I hate those dreams because I usually wake up all teared up like a g**d*** p****. It's quite unusual for me because,even so it is quite true, I would never actually do such a cowardice thing.

I'm losing pieces of myself and i don't think i can get them back

please please please notice my tone of typing
ask if im okay
please f***ing ask if im okay
i dont want to burden you by coming to you with unwanted venting
dear god please