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I just really wanna meet Dan Howell and Phil Lester. They're pretty cool. Too bad we don't live on the same continent. ;-;

How much do pornstars earn, for one video, I have a big dick 7 inch and I wanna get into the porn industry.

Minor annoyance but I f***ing hate how my Wii U Gamepad never connects to the console when I turn it on despite the fact that it's either right next to or on top of the console itself. I grab my PS3 controller, y'know, last gen tech, and it can turn on my console from the next room over and then some. Thanks, Nintendo.

I'm so f***ing horny right now. Ugh. Sucks being single sometimes and poor. I don't have anything to f*** my wet warm p**** with. Any objects you recommenced I can use around the house?

Whatever happened to Joe Izuzu

I am woman do you not know if I think I must speak!

Realizing that Gen Fusion is basically sex for gems makes OC's for that show awkward.

f*** everything . I hate my life, whenever i do certain activity it doesnt matter if i put my best on it, it always wails because of uncontrolled variables and suddenly there comes another person and takes the whole f***ing credit!!! I'm stinking sick of this

That f***ing Minions sh** needs to die.

It seriously pisses me off, the fact people treat something like it's a masterpiece or classic when really it's a piece of sh** and a complete betrayal of its roots. Congratulations, keep going this route and you'll push away the only people who were willing to keep you alive, and your credibility will diminish further. Oh, and by the way, the community can keep blowing off everything in the past as if it's sh** with such little reasoning and heavy nitpicks like the manipulat... read more

tic toc tic toc now you die

I f***ing love Hey Jude by The Beetles. I. LOVE. IT.

The Scenario:

The story opens with U.S. president Barack Obama strolling out into the White House garden to masturbate with a bottle of beer and somehow missing the opportunity to make the "stimulus package" joke that all of us were expecting:

One hand under his head, he slowly begins stroking his penis. (...) he takes the cold beer bottle and places it sideways under his balls, letting the cool condensation seep into his sack.

Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images

Presidential hist... read more

Okay children, let's start the day with a few new math problems. What is 5x2? (No, I'm not a f***ing idiot, I'm quoting south park, in case any of you don't know. Anyone wanna continue this?)

i effen hate slow Hearthstone players, mother effers should be permanently banned. Hearthstone is otherwise awesome.

Happy Humping Day

The most powerful vampire the world would ever know had started her tale not as a woman of any great importance, but a mere girl who's flighty nature could not compare to the greater mind of her sister or intended. They always tried to be kind, but it was easy to see she was not in their leagues. No one took her seriously, and how could they when her heart was so prone to feints? Her kindness was understated by the reputation of her immaturity. Even when her heart broke that ... read more

Ginny was sat in the Common Room telling Hermione all about how she had finally f***ed Harry. Hermione wasn't as enthusiastic as Ginny hoped she would be.
'Are you sure he didn't get any c** inside you? Even the smallest amount can get you pregnant,' Hermione explained to Ginny.
'I know, Hermione!' Ginny replied, 'He came on my t*** and face, not in my p****. Stop your worrying. Why don't you get out there and find a f*** of your own?' Hermione thought about what Ginny said f... read more

I wanna be a scooboligist

Listening to Titanium and feeling very badass.