I literally have no idea what normal eating is anymore. I either eat 500 cals a day or 4,000. there is no in between. I can't control myself. It's horrible. i want this to end. I TRY to eat normally and not binge and not feel guilty, trust me. It's been like this since march. Today was one of the days where I overate. Idk what to do anymore....
I am really struggling right now. I hate myself, I feel out of control around food. I cancel plans and turn into a horrible person. I have been on the verge of tears all day. I can't do this. I wish so badly I could talk to someone close with me about this but every time I do it just scares them off. It scares me too..I hate feeling like this but I don't know how to feel better. I'm whining. But better anonymously through the internet than in real life, right?
I can't figure out what I want to eat. I don't know how to cook because my parents never taught me. I don't want to eat another microwaveable or ramen because I'm tired of all that sodium. We have a few things left for a sandwich... A very dull sandwich. There's a lot of fruit too. Other than that, the other choice is sugar sugar sugar. There are some yeast rolls, which taste good, but I've already had 2 today. I just wanna eat healthy, but this is the conflict...
lol Sometimes I scare myself when I shop for fruit. I end up sniffing my pineapples to make my decision on which one to pick. It has gotten scary because my friend says I get this excited and flushed look on my face when I do it. She says, and I quote "it just looks sooo wrong" lol...thats just crazy, right?! Lol
I have 2 pet peeves about.... Cereal.
1) I hate how people eat cereal. Everything about it. The spoon hitting the bowl, the slurpping sound off the spoon, the crunching everything and I dont know why.
2) I hate how people buy like 5 boxes of different cereal but only open 1 at a time until its done. Like, what was the point of buying different types if you cant have them. What if I want. Cheerios today & apple jacks tomorrow? When I get my own place im going to op... read more