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damn I ruined a really good friendship, I'll forever hate myself for this

f***

Is it normal for my driving instructor to want me to text him ? Like he bought me food already he tried to before that too but I'm a vegitarian so I couldn't eat it. He said we should get food sometime. But he says he does that with a lot of his students and also gives relationship advice.
I feel like he thinks I don't like him if I don't do it is the thing. But i'm always like this I don't like getting close to people so I really can't tell if it could seem like I hate him.

I'm in shock, my ex friend who is a racist just called me racist to close friend and she said she didn't want to get involved, she knows I'm not and my ex friend posts racist stuff all the time! I'm mad she didn't defend me I'm mad she didn't call her racist friend out! Wtf my friend of 20 years! Why does she get a hall pass ? For being black? I'm disgusted . No big deal I know who my true friends are now, f*** you t***

That little heart next to your name actually made me happy

I couldn't wait any longer, I had to try to get through to you

Ugh you're never going to talk to me again

I want to be friends with her, but I'm afraid to push too hard, ugh... what if I f*** it up? Like I f*** up every friendship I ever had. I might not be a good enough person for friends

I just can't believe you haven't checked your phone for a few hours

Just another reason why I hate myself.

You're probably not going to answer me, but I feel like I have nothing else to lose.

Honestly how do I get over losing friends. I lost a lot of friends recently, even my closest ones (all my fault tbh). I can't help but let it eat me alive everyday, it's even making me paranoid. I do hope that I can change.

You have no idea how much this means to me. I just hope you give me the chance to tell you.

f*** it. I have nothing else to lose.

I ruin everything

It's people like you that kill the little self confidence I have each day. I wish I could draw you a picture of how I feel, because clearly you still can't read even if I spell it out for you.

So I talked to my friend for the first time in three months because she's been studying and so have I. I told her "I hope I'm not bothering" because I don't want to be a burden. She replies "No at least not now"
How the hell do you respond to that.
And secondly when in this entire bloody year have I bothered you we've spoken like three times

Damn I lost you just as fast as you came into my life.

You don't talk to me or message me for three months and then suddenly you message me and think I'm fine with it. What was I not good enough to be your friend so you ignore me for three months? Or did you just suddenly remember that I exist?

Why do I attract people like this