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My mentor is cooler than your mentor.

#Author

When your left eye tries to float away while you are trying to have a conversation with your crush. Thanks fever dreams! :D

#Literallyjusthappened #Iknowitsnotreal #IWasActuallyTextinghimthough #Author #DontworryMyGlassescaughtmyeye #Bedtime

I think I have nightmares nightly because fear is your body's favorite wake-up mechanism. So the nightmares usually happen just before I wake up...
Some of them are hilarious. "Better wake up before your ex boyfriend gives you a hug! Ooga-booga booga!"
"No! I'll never let him touch me again! Not even for a hug!"
*Wakes up*
"Damn... That was terrifying."

#Author #Nightmares #Funny

Think I have a troll who likes to comment rude things on my #Author posts. Show yourself, troll! Come out with your username! :)

I finally got the book to the editor!

#Author

About to submit a manuscript. Wish me luck!

#author

Well I feel better but not. I picked up that story I put down again. The one about the sad pregnant lady. I feel better because I'm working again but it's so damn dark... It's got war. War is not beautiful.

#Author #Someonebeproudofme

That neighbor I was bitching about brought cookies to the post office today.

#Neighbor #Author #Cookies #Werecoolnow

I want to post more stories to the internet but I don't want people to be afraid of me... I use real life as inspiration. Sometimes people tell me a secret and I hide it in a fantasy book. That's part of why I wait a month or two before I even type something off of pen and paper, unto the computer.

#Secrets #Sharingwiththeworld #Author #YIKES

Every moment waiting for your favorite publisher to say something about your most recent submission is like being in love. But instead of him making you wait 5 minutes to text you back, ya'll are old fashioned and use snail mail (I've done it. Beautiful torture.) I'll get an email to soon and then I'll know if I'm the author of a children's book or just the writer of one.

#Author

Author= Published
Writer= Wrote the thing but it's in a neat stack locked in your basement.

#Nectarine finally gave me a reason to write again. Thank you small one.

#Author

Sometimes I feel like a f***ing drug addict. I NEED to write or I'm going to pick holes in my flesh. I wish I were joking. Writing fantasy is a good way to bring my problems into an abstract plane and solve them.

#Author

Self righteous a**h*** who scold you for making a semi self promotional post in an author's group make me laugh. Yeah. Get out of my inbox. Beg the admin to make you a self righteous admin! Not just an a**h*** .
Guess what's part of being an author? SELLING THE DAMN PRODUCT!
#Author #Asshole #Metoo

"You're such a horrible person for not taking care of people! Don't scold your friend for not having a job! Give her some of your money! Don't tell off that old lady for coughing on your grandma! Take her to the doctor! And while you're at it, put someone through college why don't you?"
Eh, yeah. f*** off. I don't even have enough money to support myself. I've got my family and they finacially take care of themselves. I'm just a cheerleader and the guy who holds the other end... read more

Some people from my hometown are huge jerks and I want to unfriend them on facebook but then they'd see me in person and confront me. God forbid my balls drop when they ask "So why'd you unfriend me?"
"Because you never have anything nice to say."

#NutUpOrShutUp #SickOfGettingPickedOnByAdults #ICanBeABiggerBully #Author #DontTestMe #Facebook #a**h***

I know people who bathe their crystals in moonlight... And a woman who doesn't have an alarm clock because she asks Jesus to wake her up at a certain time. Both are equally as freaky. I guess we're all just searching for divine intervention.

#Author

Forgive me world! I just couldn't do it anymore! If I kept going I was going to get burnt out! Forgive me! I can't write this story anymore!

#IfISeeOneMoreFairyImGoingToPunchThemInTheFace #Author #Lossassbreak

Is it "Said my piece" or "Said my peace"? Both would work...
Like, I said my song and dance on my soap box= I said my piece
Or, I got all that bull-sh** off my chest and now I have peace.

#Englishisweird #Author

Keep your advice to yourself.

Got a letter from that jerky old lady. Started out "Sorry" but then I dunno. Had my mom read it, give me the highlights, then I skimmed it, found too many insults rooted in vaguely condescending explanation and tossed it into the trash.

"Let's move on and move forward." Yes. Let's. It's Wednesday. That happened Sunday. Leave me alone. Don't call me. Let's move on. Thanks.

Did I mention my tooth hurts?

#Sick #Toothache #Author #Oldlady

I'm one pissed off motherf***er with a toothache. sh**. I've got so many reasons to be happy though.

#Toothache #Author #b****