I feel so f***ing vile recently my ex of a few years has tried to contact me to apologise for letting his friend have sex with me and basically do whatever he wanted to me when I was passed out drunk and I somehow managed to push everything to the back of my mind luckily all i remember is flashes and crying for hours afterwards but all i keep telling myself now is is it even rape i didnt say no it wasnt like i was attacked i just stupidly got blackout drunk and im so angry he has the audacity to messge me 3 years later to f***ing drag it all back up to tell me he feels guilty