Everyday i feel more and more alone. I love my family, i love my sister, and they love me, but i just dont feel heard, or understood, or like i can talk to anybody and that theyd just listen, and care about me. care to listen to me. i feel like i give so much love and receive so little in return from my sister who i love, laugh with, and is my best friend. But she really sucks and showing me she likes me. she thinks shes so special, everything revolves around her. you think my kindness and selflessness would rub off on her or impact her in some way. but usually its only minor, and the only needs who are being met are hers. she seems to be very selfish and i feel as though my feelings, my emotions, my mental and physical health is plummeting. im depressed, anxious, cant sleep, eat irregularly, but feel as tho i have no one to talk to about it, no one whod understand. i try to hug her sometimes, anyway i touch her, which is mostly on accident she hits me, pinches me, punches me, pushes me away and i gotta say it hurts, emotionally and physically. she can dish it, shes so mean, makes rude comments, sarcastic comments, which are funny but i cant stand it constantly, she cannot take it tho. any little backlash i give her she takes as a personal abomination and will "shun" me or hit me. gosh i hate her sometimes. but i love her more than the immature way she treats me. i just want to be loved. i feel so depressed, i have few friends, no boyfriend, and i just suffer. i dont know what to do. i wish , i dont really know what i wish for anymore because all my wishing and waiting and hoping seems to do nothing. this is very has been a very lonely depressing time in my life.