I have no freaking clue why people like me or even befriend me. I just don't get it I mean I'd like to think in decent but really I think that's it
Im pretty sure I have low self-esteem and am very self conscious as well as awkward. Making conversation is hard for me and i hate talking about my feelings because I have serious trust issues. I automatically see the worst possible thing that people could do to me and it plays in my mind constantly. I have no reason to do that like no life changing past or shiz like that. Honestly I feel like everyone secretly dislikes me or gets annoyed by my presence. I should really stop feeling sorry for myself and i try breaking these habits but it never works out. Im definitely not a social butterfly but I don't shut people out. I like knowing things about the people I believe are my friends but if there's something i dont know about and im not told i wont push or anything like that cause im not like that. I think if in told things its cause someone wanted to tell not cause i forced or pressured them into it. I have issues that I should probably talk about with someone but im stubborn and don't like that kind of thing (trust issues) I want to believe that all this is just in my head but its really hard cause i over think things which is one of my many flaws. I don't really complain cause it makes me feel like an ungrateful human being because I have a very nice life and there are probably thousands of people who are worse off and yeah. *sigh*But mentally and emotionally I have some problems not serious ones but still. I just wanna cry but im in a house where people don't understand and there must be a solid reason for my crying and i don't feel like explaining myself and then be questioned. One day I wil find a place where I have music and im alone and its quiet and I'll freaking cry my heart out.