I feel I've f***ed up my life. I chose a course that's was very ill suited for me. It went against the very nature of my personality and i saw that only until it was too late. It had destroyed everything. I thought uni life was supposed to be the greatest moment of my life but it was the worst. A genuine nightmare. I was often very stressed out and my relationships started to fail. I've distanced myself from my family and my friends as i was in so much pain. I dont know how to face my friends anymore. I can't even tell my best friends the truth as i dont want to bother them. It also has gotten very hard for me to make true friends in school as everyone seems to have a clique.
On top of that, I'm not doing well in school too as I'm too shy to speak up and the course I'm studying requires me to be very outspoken. I just don't have that natural confidence. I just get so nervous when i stand to speak in a large crowd and i think it has affected me one way or another.
Now i have gone to a point where I'm really stuck. I should have gotten out of it sooner. I should have told myself that i wasn't good at it and i should switch out.
I wish i could have a restart. To go back to before. Where i should have gone and done something that I like. Follow my passion. I wanted a second attempt at school but it's too costly.
Now, my life has really reached what i feel is my personal rock bottom and im stuck with no path to really go on to. I don't really know what i should do.