I want to try modeling this summer but I'm not sure if I should . People are just going to tell me that I'm too shy or quiet to join something like that, plus they always say "your not like that so why do you want to be a model". Tbh, I know its not possible for me to be a real model but I know its something I would to experience even just for this summer. If I try out the model summer camp, I might be the only one who's different from everyone else...all of them pr... read more
Its funny because I cringe when I remember the things I did as a kid. Why am I remembering things I did as a kid. Because I read a horrible post about playing "doctor" and its correlation to poll dancing. Yea, I played "doctor" once or twice and to this very day it still disturbs the living chit out of me.
My girlfriend just lost someone important in her life and is currently in mourning. She just found out that she won't be able to attend the funeral as it is too far away and now her family wants her to go to some sort of grief counseling/church group meeting and have told her she basically has no choice in the matter of going or not. When I call after just hearing thjs is going on to try and take her mind off of it, she instead turns it into the biggest argument we've had in ... read more
I'm bisexual. I have been since I was 9 and fell in love with my best friend. I'm also gender-queer. Have been since high school. I haven't figured out what cute little label to put on my queer-ness to define myself to the LGBTQ community yet and I don't feel badly about that. I'm almost 35 and I have never said these words out loud. And truly, I resent everyone in my life that I feel like I have to keep this secret for. So tomorrow I'll "girlie" up my clothes and h... read more
In grade 9 & 10, I've always been labeled the shy/quiet/skinny person in class. I'm turning grade 11 next year and I wanted that to change, but I know its going to be really hard. Its like I can't change what other people think of me anymore and so I'm stuck with being labeled as the quiet one. I want to be more confident with myself, but I don't know if that will work out once I get back to school. I wanted to move school and start fresh, but I know that's not going to h... read more
one of my parents is an BDO for TSA. They got a transfer with their job and they were suppossed to leave weeks ago. Their boss is stopping all tranfers for the summer illegally therefore we will have to wait. Sounds good doesnt it? But wait there is a high possibility that the opening at the other city might close. SO JUST MY f***ING LUCK. IM A TEENAGER AND IM TIRED IM STRSSED I HATE MY SCHOOL HERE AND I WANT TO MOVE. I f***ING HATE MY PARENT BOSS AND I KEEP PRAYING TO GOD TO... read more
I was happy just a few minutes ago...and then little things just ruined it for me. This happens all the time. I hate being so sensitive and anxious. I try not to care so much but every little thing goes to my head and makes me feel sick. idk how to describe it.
I also cry way too much...I even start crying when someone compliments me. People try to talk to me but I end up screwing up my reply, which makes the atmosphere awkward. I can't carry a conversation. I stutter and my... read more
Never too good at livin
Always ready to die
I was never about that life
but damn n***aI tried
Selling dope got real fast when a p**** a** n***awanna throw some hands
yea a n***atryin to throw some hands when a b**** just out here tryin to survive
Damn i hate this life.
Its hard being a white b**** from a hood
With no one to help you and no way to be good
So this n***atryin to run up in my house
Guess I'm catching a charge cause I ain't goin down without a fight
f*** gangs... read more
How is it that when I ask for someone to do something for me they won't do it but minutes after me asking them for a favor, it may be in the same concept of what I asked someone else will ask for a favor and guess what? Yup your right they'll do it for them. How messed up is that? But when I won't do something for them its a Big problem and I'm made out to be the bad guy because I won't do it. I'm tires of getting walked over, if this is what you have to do or go thru in orde... read more
I feel like nothing is going right at the moment and I just feel like I've been through a bunch of utter sh** and I'm sick of venting to my friends about it because they have all got what I want...they don't understand. I've had every single guy fck me over majorly, each time I think I've found a good one it just turns out it's another lie, 5 times this had happened and I've just lost faith! The last one left me for another woman and 3 weeks after that I was retrenched from m... read more
Hi fellow lonely Muttr's. I was watching an old YouTube video and cracking up. Then realized I have no one to share it with. The profanity would be too much to the few people I share things with.
I might look into finding a friend. It's really hard when you're older. Having stuff in common with someone later in life is quite a challenge.
Ah, well, glad I got a good laugh.
I feel so ridiculous for writing here, no offense to anyone. But my day has been so embarrassing, i can't even write it in my diary. I'm even a little skeptical about writing it here. Wht if someone i know reads this? What if someone who knows what happened sees this & says yeah that's gotta be her? This past year has really been hard. I got robbed 3 times. The 1st time was an electronic device, the second time was that and money, & this time, it's just money. & i... read more
Dang. I am WAY to young to already be realizing that I f***ed my life up, and want to restart it with what I already know. Sooo many moments, days, and years that I wish I could relive. The years I want to relive the most are the third and fourth grade. That would have changed everything. I could have messed up the IQ test just enough, I could have handled those idiots correctly, I could have not had a really stupid crush, I could have not been such an a** to my mom, I could ... read more