So im here with kinda like an epiphany, or something i guess lol. But i stopped smoking weed a while ago because when i got high i saw the world differently, the truth was revealed about damn near everything.......even myself. And people (well lemmie make it personal)---I dont like to hear or recall those thoughts in my mind (you know the ones that are the real you screaming to break out of the shell you may have put it in), so i said the only way to silence my TRUE desires (... read more
I am so incredibly sick of having my motherhood attacked. My daughter is happy. She is healthy. She has everything she needs, even if I have to go without. She has my full attention and she always comes first. So am I bad mother? NO. No im not, and im sick of being treated as if I am. I have been doing this on my own since day one. I am both her mommy and her daddy and it gets rough, but I make it happen! I have very little help, and the help I have, even with family, never c... read more
I need back control of my life and happiness even if it means pissing of karma by 'rudely' (sometimes my honesty is perceived as rudeness no matter how I try to consider the other party)and painfully cutting of out of my life people who weigh me down.
I feel like the Devil's spawn, but it has to be done, I can't please or take care of everyone's happiness except my own.
All I can think of is suicide. All I can think of are reasons to kill myself, why I should just die. I don't feel like there's any point in me living anymore, life is just too painful. I can't rely on anyone anymore, my faith in humanity has shattered, I can't do anything. Nothing is enjoyable anymore. I don't have anyone left. I just want to die.
Just putting this out into the universe
I've been all over the world and have met many women but I am still waiting patiently for my girl
I call forth through space and time
I Call the Magick From the Gypsy line
To Bring me Love from thine own Past,
come to me in this Time,
In the name of Nyx and Erebus,
I bind this spell, So Mote it be.
i wanna be king
im tired of living this sh** life of mine in this dingy a** apartment crawling with bugs and coffee stains
i want to be rich as f***
i want power
i want it at all
but i cant f***ING REACH IT and im stuck
i have no clue what to do and who to talk to and who i am
i want hierarchy
i want to be blind to the truth of things
how do i get it
how the hell do i move on from where i am
Why is it that I desire nothing? I've never wanted anything in my life that I was not told that I should or needed to have. I am well aware that I am capable of achieving great things, however I feel as if I have not actually done anything outstanding nor fulfilling. My life feels void and worthless especially due to the fact that I have never fallen in love with someone and the only time in which i seemed to have found someone she showed no interest in me. I've distanced mys... read more
I don't even know anymore not as in what happens next but as in what I should feel at times I am super confident other times I'm just there I'm in the spotlight next I'm standing on the sidelines and with my friends and all I don't even talk to them anymore it's not that they did something to make me to stop talking to them but I just stop talking to them they still talk to me work is good money coming in I don't have any financial problems no family problems no drugs no alco... read more