I'm 20 years old and I'm gay. I want to come out so bad but for some reason I just can't. Even though I can't think of one person who would take it negatively. My brother is gay and out too and it's not a problem at all. In fact I feel like my friends would even like me better if I just came out. I think I just care too much about what others would think but I really shouldn't.
How can loving someone feel so good and hurt so bad at the same time? The heart is overwhelmed with excitement of the anticipation of that seeing and feeling that person, but pain in the heart from the missing and wondering if and when it will happen again. Is it more pain to never have felt that love, or to have felt it and have it taken away to never feel again? My heart hurts and I don't wish it anybody.
I told myself I wasn't going to eat this week. I stayed in my room all day Friday and Saturday without eating and I was so proud of myself, but I forgot that Sunday was Easter and I just felt so bad when my mom left me an Easter basket full of candy. I knew I couldn't eat it. But even though no one was stopping me from throwing everything away I still ate it all like a disgusting pig. I feel so fat and disgusting. Everything was going to be okay but then I ruined it. I want t... read more
I don't like my track coaches (Have 3). Before the meet, it was all, "It's okay if you lose. Just play fair and run your own race because you're trying to beat YOU." And all this stuff about how we should try to win as a team, but not be sore losers if we don't make it. It was our first meet, a home meet, and we were against two other schools. We got second place, losing by three points. Not so bad, right? Yeah, try saying that to the coach. The next day at practice... read more
I'm a guy. Several years ago, I posted a picture of my face on a forum I was using at the time. Then, a girl commented on it telling me that even though she was a lesbian, she though I was super attractive and would consider dating me if she knew me in person. She used the word "gorgeous" to describe me. I don't know why, but that girl's comment was by far the best compliment I've ever received in my entire life.
I'm ashamed to admit that I constantly think about dying. The thought of "I don't want to live anymore" passes through my head several times everyday. I fantasize about getting shot or getting killed. When I'm riding in a car on a highway, I imagine myself getting hit by a car. When I visited a waterfall, I kept on thinking about falling from the top and dying. Even at school, I think about a shooter coming in to shoot me. I know this isn't normal and I'm scared of ... read more
I don't want to be alone. Im so scared of being alone for the rest of my life. I have no family, no friends so there for I don't get out to meet people. I crave for somebody to touch me, hold me and tell me it's going to be okay. So close to ending it but knowing it goes against my beliefs I haven't, not yet anyway. Just need that feeling of being wanted. Really there is nothing keeping me here. Idk, why am I feeling like this?
I like going to eat at restaurants with my older brother, but he's always on his cell texting and I'm just left starring around awkwardly while eating. :T Also,there's this handsome waiter that works here, but I'm not sure if he's working today. Will someone please communicate with me... I'm dying of boredom.
I have a fear of shopping in places like malls or big stores. I get really anxious and nervous for some reason... it's hard to explain. If I go into a store, I get really tense and panicky. Right now I only feel comfortable shopping at thrift stores. I get all my clothes from there. I'm not poor, nor am I looking for quirky clothes. I just feel like I don't belong in any of the name-brand stores.... if that makes any sense. I'm embarrassed to tell anyone that all my clothes a... read more