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I'm fifteen, my mom is 50, and my grandma is 82 my mom and I have been living with my grandma since September, before that we were living with my older sister. As soon as we moved in with my grandma, she was pretty rude to me, nothing extreme but she would call me names, say I wasn't good enough, and call me lazy. I understand that because when she was my age she lived on a farm and did practically all of the work, so I probably do seem lazy in comparison even though I do hou... read more
I don't fit in anywhere. People try to be nice to me but I am always uncomfortable and know they are being nice not because they like me but because they feel obligated. I am only comfortable at home when I am alone, and usually after drinking an excessive amount. Then in the morning, I feel hung over and so depressed that I think I can just overdose and not have to work and it can all be over and finally be ok.
i just need to... vent... i feel so depressed and friendless. i've been missing you, and you, and you a little bit, and you a little bit, too, lately. i feel so lost. and sad. sad sad sad sad. just wanna cry. miss being truly alone. now that i live with someone, it feels like i have no excuse to be sad. just wanna drink.
oh, and just admit you'll never drink with me. don't hold onto this stupid idea we have when you kno... read more
Yeah not sure what category to put this in....
So today my best friend came over to my house to work on a school project with me. My mom was out for a while at like a store or something so we're alone at my house, watching some videos because actually doing your schoolwork is overrated. XD I should probably mention that I have a crush on this best friend and we've known each other for about 9 years, so since kindergarte... read more
I hate being scared to do it. I just look like an idiot. I don't want to live anymore. People think I'm kidding or overreacting. Maybe maybe. But how can I not. If you were in my shoes. Tears bottling up until I explode with emotions. I used to talk about my feelings to everyone. My family tell me to stop acting. My friends told me what to do. To get over it and do something about it. I can't. I'm frozen. I'm numb. I fear everything. Gahhhhh i just want to scream. Im trying a... read more
I feel like I've wasted my whole life.
People have said that I'm a pretty girl, but I've never gotten anything but creepy stalkers and failed almost-relationships because I have social anxiety and depression. My grades have also plummeted due to those things. I used to be a straight-A student, I was literally the number one student in my entire year multiple times and teachers have told me that I'm especially smart even though I'm too shy to participate in class. That was lo... read more
I feel so f***ing stupid, I just really feel dumb. I'll admit, I had a little bit to drink and am an emotional drunk, but I'm in so much pain that I just don't know what to do. Just recently I lost a friend, this person was supposed to be my best friend, my ride or die, and they literally f***ed me over. I've been friends with this person for over five years, and they've done a lot of sh** to me that I would just let go because I really wanted them in my life. I hadn't had fr... read more
My bf who i have been living with for 2 years has moved back to his parents house. Because he got arrested for weed disqualifying his student visa. Which means he can no longer drive. I kind of hate this country right now. I kinda of hate him. And i feel utterly alone because the culture i am from doesnt accept relationships out of your immediate nationality and ethnicity. So i dont have family support. I am the only per... read more
OKAY SO I'VE HAD BUDDING FEELINGS FOR MY BEST FRIEND SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THIS YEAR, THING IS I'M A GIRL AND SHE'S A GIRL AND AS FAR AS I KNEW, I WAS STRAIGHT. HOWEVER WE ARE SUPER CLOSE AND HAVE BEEN FOR THE PAST FIVE OR SIX YEARS AND SO I WAS UPFRONT WITH HER AND ASKED HER IF SHE COULD TELL IF THERE WAS SEXUAL TENSION BETWEEN US AND SHE SAID YES. SO AFTER A FEW DESPERATE ATTEMPTS TO MAKE PLANS, NOTHING HAPPENED SO WE LEFT IT alone. I wish I could change what's so wrong with me so people can leave me alone<... read more
I think challenges really destroy my enthusiasm for faith and belief in God. Why should I have any challenges to deal with? My life is hard enough and I think things are not fair. I think God abandons me or has abandoned me. I'm mad at God about my childhood and the things I had to go through. I'm still knowing he exists but I'm still angry at him for putting me through that or for letting me go through that. Where is he and why isn't he here making me feel better? I thought ... read more
A paper crown, and a heart made of glass
A tattered gown, and her kingdom of ash
She walks alone, she can never look back
The story of a queen whose castle has fallen to the sea
She'll make it out, but she's never the same
She's looking down, at the scars that remain
But you hold your ground, though your kingdoms in flames
Cause it's the story of a queen whose castle has fallen to the sea
Knowing there's no one who will ... read more
So I was looking through instagram story and saw that my crush post a pic of pizza saying that he's home alone n all. So I dm him n start a small talk with him. We were chatting untill I finally have the courage to confess to him so I did. He said that he likes me too. I was freaking out n overly happy at the same time. I was about to tell my friend who's sitting directly across from me but then I saw that he was using m... read more
I have no freaking clue why people like me or even befriend me. I just don't get it I mean I'd like to think in decent but really I think that's it
Im pretty sure I have low self-esteem and am very self conscious as well as awkward. Making conversation is hard for me and i hate talking about my feelings because I have serious trust issues. I automatically see the worst possible thing that people could do to me and it plays in my mind constantly. I have no reason to do that li... read more
I feel so f***ing alone. I have to admit that I really didn't see my life going in this direction. I made horrible decisions.
I got married and with that man who I truly was head over heals in love with... left as soon as he found out our child was terminally ill. DIVORCE IS WHAT he wanted. A year later and still nothing. I am in limbo. I don't get a divorce for the medical benefits that my child receives. But it h... read more
f***! Why is it when you are the oungest anywhere be it in school where u're student, in family as children, n a hellhole as a pece of sh** crazy f***ing sh** you'r alwway s the one who is wrong. isn't it obvious? all ou f***ing whores just need to shut up and leave me alone with my prlem then you can go f*** off anywhere not that i care. sh**@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! f***ing lie f***ing dammit!!!!!! how i wish ilive in a li... read more
everyday i feel more and more alone. I love my family, i love my sister, and they love me, but i just dont feel heard, or understood, or like i can talk to anybody and that theyd just listen, and care about me. care to listen to me. i feel like i give so much love and receive so little in return from my sister who i love, laugh with, and is my best friend. But she really sucks and showing me she likes me. she thinks shes... read more