Your Safe Space to Just Vent

From today's update at Only-Secretaries ~ Becky X in her grey miniskirt with black knee high boots and black opaque tights.

Mrs. Song, so sexy gen x woman, asian sexy eyes make me so wet use me for whatever you want just don't break my heart

I have diarrhea because I'm a glutton, I'm a simpleton fml.

Tremors is Dune for Rednecks Dammit I can't unthink this now. Redneck Dune 😂

Now I know that I can't make you stay But where's your heart? But where's your heart? But where's your- And I know there's nothing I can say To change that part To change that part To change... So many bright lights, they cast a shadow, but can I speak? Well, is it hard understanding, I'm incomplete? A life that's so demanding I get so weak A love that's so demanding I can't speak I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone Honey, if you stay, I'll be forgiven Nothing you can say can stop me going home Can you see my eyes are shining bright? 'Cause I'm out here on the other side Of a jet black hotel mirror and I'm so weak Is it hard understanding, I'm incomplete? A love that's so demanding I get weak I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone Honey, if you stay, I'll be forgiven Nothing you can say can stop me going home I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone Honey, if you stay, I'll be forgiven Nothing you can say can stop me going home These bright lights have always blinded me These bright lights have always blinded me, I say I see you lying next to me With words I thought I'd never speak Awake and unafraid, asleep or dead 'Cause I see you lying next to me With words I thought I'd never speak Awake and unafraid, asleep or dead 'Cause I see you lying next to me With words I thought I'd never speak Awake and unafraid, asleep or dead 'Cause I see you lying next to me With words I thought I'd never speak Awake and unafraid, asleep or dead I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone (or dead) Honey, if you stay, I'll be forgiven Nothing you can say can stop me going home (or dead) I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone (or dead) Honey, if you stay, I'll be forgiven Nothing you can say can stop me going home (or dead) I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone (or dead) Honey, if you stay, I'll be forgiven Nothing you can say can stop me going home

"In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war." And Emperor Shithead is the cause of it all !!!!

I just cut off all my closest friends for their own sakes I adore my friends so much I love each and everyone of them w/ my whole heart they are more of a family to me than my actual blood family but I've realized that me continuing to be in their lives is hurting them I've known this for awhile, im kinda always a burden to the people who care about me thanks to a plethora of issues. I attempted suicide and got hospitalized for it not even 3 months ago and its made my friends worry about me even more. One of them even failed their semester of classes in order to help me while i was hospitalized and w/ my recovery. But I can't get better, I've tried but i keep just hurting myself again and again getting more drastic w/ each attempt. I'm on medication but not a single one has worked, I'll get better and improve for abit but it'll all come crashing down bc of my self-destruction. And i know how much this hurts them, it's like a twist of the knife everytime i relapse w/ selfharm, or drink, or do something purposely stupid to hurt myself further. These people have done nothing but invest so much time and care into me and all i can do to thank them is hurt myself constantly. When i attempted suicide a huge part of it was to free my friends of the burden that is me, i wanted to just become a bittersweet memory to them w/out having to feel the pain of not having them in my life anymore. I realized today tho, after i once again lashed out and hurt myself repeatedly, that i just need to live w/ that pain. It sucks and it hurts and this is one of the most painful things I've ever put myself through but this way they can know I'm still alive and maybe even getting better, without me constantly dragging them down bc i just can't seem to get better. I adore and love my friends so much but keeping them in my life is selfish. My love is a poison that destroys the ones i care the most about. I'm gonna miss them all so much but this is genuinely for their own goods

nevermind im sad now. oguhgghghhhh :CC :( :C ohhgjklfjklfghfgh

holy fuck my ADHD meds make me piss like a coffee horse

i was gonna post here cuz i was lowk tweaking but i tweaked so hard that i became calm again

The universe is punishing me because i haven’t wrote my paper yet i’ll write it send the flood away resist your anger i will do it Yake then away take them away take me away 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

thank you muttr for reworking the filters i really appreciate it i do not want to guess anymore anyway back to the gnats i’m literally crying right now i don’t know why i may have some previous trauma left over from that horrid gnat infestation that i get flashbacks from this isn’t an infestation it’s only 2 or 4 but i don’t know my brother hasn’t been taking out the trash at all so maybe it’s from that i asked him to take it out tmrw but he probably won’t and i’ll have to do it i do the dishes everyday even twice a day i bleach i boil water i slam gnats i put up bug catchers what more can i possibly do no one cares but me they just want to live in gnat hell i guess This is hell i want out of here

the devil is alive and he is a drain fly or gnat i don’t know what it is but i can’t take this anymore i was doing my nails and watching a show and one was on my phone i smacked it but it flew away too quick i immediately got up and started pouring bleach in every drain once again i dont know how this keeps happening i don’t know what to do i got rid of a plant that had eggs in it (i think?) and ive put bleach in every drain in the house u cant take this anymore i can’t live with gnats i don’t know where they’ve come from i think the sump pump? but i don’t know my mom went on vacation it’s just me and my brother no one cares but me i cant do this anymore guys it’s not as bad as last time i guess last time my whole family went on vacation and my my moms bf was here and he left dishes and didn’t clean them for a whole week and i came back.. gnats everywhere oh my god guys and they told me to just “do it” as in just clean the gnat sink i didnt even do it he’s the one that left dishes in there i threw away everything in the sink they were swarming me i cant go through that hell again even after that they were everhywhee in the house all night all day i’d be killing gnats i can’t take that anymore i can’t do this anymore i need these gnats gone I HUST SAW ONE ON MY CJRTAIN I WENT TO KILL IT AND IT WAS GONE I CANNOT DO THIS I CANNOT DO THIS

Searching "LANTERNS" on Google sends a little green bird across my screen. Neat.

Thats fucking hysterical. The little midget jason playing sonething super loud on its phone. " it was a black guy. A homosexual predator in his mid-40's.... I was 19...". Lmao. The excuses never stop. Its not your fucking place to patrol me for whatever bullshit reason you've decided! Childish fuck!

Hmm maybe I'll write a vent fic that will probably get me hate. Because despite antis claiming you can portray dark topics as long as you don't "romanticize" it, vent fics/art do often still get hate because people see (fictional) incest/pedophilia and lose all critical thinking skills. sorry Cathal Bravecog you're fucking getting it

I’m fucking hate my miserable life, that’s quite literally the only way I could start this off. I only have one “friend” who always instigates shit just for laughs or whatever. I can just be chilling in a party call with him and one other person I don’t really talk to (which insults me at times for no reason whatsoever) and he’d just say some shit like, “He called you a fat chud” or some shit like that just to spark up something completely unnecessary, I’m really sick of his shit I really am. To be honest I did block him on everything 2 years ago and completely ghosted him because he was pulling the same shit as now back then and was also a dick and I will say he’s gotten better he’s sorta matured Yk? But even so, he’s still the same person deep inside, and it shows. The only reason I ended up unblocking him was because I was stuck in my black and white room 24/7 talking to no one, barely talking to my parents at the very most. It was like that for a year and I guess I couldn’t take it anymore and so I ended up getting desperate and ended up sending a text message to him which is on me because I should’ve known that an apology text wouldn’t make him less of a dick. He still does things that are friend like I guess? But I honestly can’t tell anymore. I don’t even go to the same school as him so I don’t get too many chances to talk to him. That’s that’s ig. I know we’ll eventually go our separate ways once we both graduate from high school this year, and eventually it’ll go back to be being alone. Maybe that’s just life I guess, at least for me that is. I mean look at me, I go to a small alt school where I don’t know anyone cause I skipped all of freshmen year, all of sophomore year, half to 3/4ths of junior year, and idk about now. Everyone has their own freind groups, and what’s even worse, I have an ex friend who goes there that I used to be friend with which kinda bullied me back then but he’s actually changed. I just know there’s a chance he’ll never talk to me again cause it’s been too long and it would be awkward but some part of me wants for him to talk to me again. I miss him, really. He’s the only friend that actually gave me good memories for the most part, even though all I remember back then was getting bullied too badly. Even when he turned a dick back then he still made an effort to try to friend me again with good intentions, no matter how big or small the effort was. Yet I got too scared and ignored it. I regret it now. To sum up my life, I got no friends and no good opportunities to make any cause I’m either too busy with work or babysitting my sibling or cleaning around my house, plus I guess no one wants to talk to a random dude no one’s ever seen that doesn’t look that likable. Basically I’m fucked and I don’t expect to last any further, I think any day after graduation will be my breaking point. This is my life now, and all I can do now is reminisce back when things were better. I don’t know if I wrote this good but I try idk I’m just typing shit I’m sure all of you will forget this in 3 days tops but at the very least you read it all, and for that I’m grateful.

I kind of miss people targeting me. People here do realize I’m a gross freak and open about it right

mario music is so good i listen to it and forget that i wish i was dead

About a week ago, I posted something about my composition lessons on Muttr and someone responded. At my next lesson, the teacher told me I’d fixed what I was doing wrong in my melody, and I know they’re technically right, but I still wonder if it isn’t just bad. It’s super paranoid, but I hope they didn’t see what I wrote, because I feel like, if they did, it would hurt their feelings, even though it wasn’t meant to be an insult to them in any way. And he’s a good guy that doesn’t deserve that. I just felt bad because I didn’t feel like I was doing a good job. Sometimes I wish I could just stop being a person. I feel like I always end up hurting people when I feel or want things, and I hate that.