Your Safe Space to Just Vent

I had a girl who was my best friend and she always asked me to come to her when she felt unsafe in a store. She was raped by her ex boyfriend. I was with her in the hospital multiple times to be by her side sometimes at 3 or 4 in the morning when I had work at 6. I was the one who helped her put him in jail. I was the one who was there when the nights got difficult. I was the one who bought her a new car battery when hers died. I was the one who dug her out of a snow bank in the middle of a snowstorm but Then I made a mistake by telling her I wanted her to be with someone who genuinely cares and loves her. I genuinely loved and cared about her. She then told her boyfriend, mind you she told me she was single multiple times. Her Facebook and Instagram all said single. I'm now blocked and it sucks. I genuinely would have moved mountains for her. I would have made sure she was safe and loved. I just wanted to show her what real love was like. So excuse me when I say I'm done. I genuinely loved and cared for her. There was multiple nights where I couldn't sleep because I was worried about her. I'm sorry I said I liked you and that I wanted to give you that old fashioned love you use to talk about. I remember you told me that I was the first guy you felt safe around. That will stay with me forever. I got you a Christmas gift I was excited to give it to you. Had it wrapped up and everything. If I would have known that telling you that I liked you and genuinly loved and cared about you and if I would have known it would cost me losing you I would have kept my feelings to myself I'm sorry...

I couldn't careless and havent thought about my bullies in a long time, I don't really keep up with social media. But I'd still wish bad things could happen to them regardless of where they are in life. They made a sociopath of me.

The Venn diagram of being American and being mentally and spiritually abused relentlessly is a circle.

Yo lowkey feeling the same as a young looking poster a few posts below. So im 31 and looking fricking 18. People mistake me for a high schooler. Hell, when I try out some education programs, the person teaching it is way younger than me. And when I tell them my age, they're like no way! 21 jump street over here or something.

She makes me sad and sometimes I wanna cry but don't do it. I wanna share stuff with her, whatever is going on in life as of late, but then I remember even when we did keep in touch,if you can call it that, she would keep me at distance, never shared anything of her life and the version of her that was vulnerable and open, just dissapeared. I hate my brain for only remembering the sweet side of hers and forgetting how much pain she gave to me for a year and a half.

Guys whats something you wana see in music artists? Music, performance, or visual wise. Something new.

To ask somebody to borrow money on your behalf, in secret, from someone who you already got money from. Who you've never paid back, it's a whole level of an evil, selfish, and mean spirited demon. Go ask all those men who you put in front of your children back in the '80s and '90s ask them to give you some money. Hell ask your baby daddy from who you never forced/fought to pay child support, go ask that fool for some money. You don't raise your children to take care of you..... you raise your children to take care of themselves. But you have no maternal Instinct, so you wouldn't know this. You're the type of so called woman that has kids for an investment to make sure you're taken care of, because you know you're a fkd up person. And now realizing that you will be put in a nursing Home..... with no visitors. You're going to find out the hard way, don't ever fk over someone who only wanted your love.....Mommy Dearest.

I feel like Jess from New girl when she says she has high expectations for people and her birthday. Except all i truly want is my birthday and maybe someone to actually go out of their way to have a suprise party or something. My birthday is smack dab between 2 adults and one child i know so its always shared with one of the other adults and it sucks i feel like im pushed to the back burner. Im about to just start doing what she does "She spends every year by herself at the movies on her birthday. She always expects too much from people and – inevitably – they let her down. So she decides that it's best if she doesn't give them the opportunity."

Don't you correct me you ignorant piece of shit AI. You're not even real. I fucking lived through the 1980s in SoCal and I know the gang wars that went down better than your Naan and chutney eating, Indian computer nerds who fucking programmed you. So fuck you and the Sitar music you dance to.

Some of my coworkers thought I’m a high school student because they were asking me questions about school, I’m 35 and they were shook when I told them. I’m not sure how they thought I’m a teen cause when I look in the mirror I see a mid-thirties woman. I’m not trying to star in grease over here

I'm all water weight & inflammation from the pregnancy. First day of GLP-1 on 0.25 lowest dosage and lost 5 pounds. I thought my high metabolism is average now. But it's still above average because most people lose 5 lbs in one month for this dosage. In a month Id be my goal weight for sure.

sometimes i just am so tired of my own mind always subconsciously comparing myself to others and I am so frustrated because I can't help it. I don't know why I do this because I am well aware that everybody is different its just that im so mad that i do this

life’s getting so complicated that death genuinely seems like the simpler option. I hate when my brain does that. I’m hardwired to just want to die. I wish I had a way to know how much other people really cared about me, it’d make me second guess thoughts like that way easier. But from my perspective swerving into traffic or jumping seems so much quicker and easier than 80 more years of getting myself out of bed. This lonely sad void is gnawing at my chest again, havent felt it in a year. I know that depression is a disease and that these thoughts arent actually how I feel or what I want to do. But rationally, it starts to make more and more sense over time as I get more and more tired. type shit?

Im tired of life everyones fake and theres no meaning or purpose to my existence

I hate spending money. im relatively responsible with it enough to have a few thousand saved but i feel so guilty buying food and gas especially bc it can end up costing $90. plus im inbetween places right now so i just spent $900 to secure a place to sleep for 20 more days. just so i can get up to work 10 hours every day. just call it what it is im an american slave and i dont even have a bed to call my own. somehow im still grateful for the small things. Thank you everything, this job, my friends, my coworkers, my car, kind strangers, pretty nature, ripe fruit from fuckin 7/11. But I was born a woman. how humiliating. Better than being a dude though.

wait therapy is actually kind of great because the more of it i do, the more i realize i am the only sane person in my entire family. not in a "people tell me i'm right so i must be right" kind of way but like-- okay so in my dbt group we've been talking about "wise mind" or whatever the fuck, and they focus on not jumping to conclusions or making assumptions, and on sticking to the facts. for example: if you have a ton of housework to do and you're overwhelmed, instead of saying, "this is fucking horrible and my life sucks" (lol) you can say "i have housework to do. i am feeling overwhelmed. my chest feels tight and i am breathing a little too fast and i would benefit from talking to someone about this experience" (okay yeah it sounds corny as fuck but like. ykwim lol). and anyway, i lowkey realized my family does that ALL the time -- jumping to conclusions, assuming the worst, black+white thinking, etc. so for example, we'll go out to eat and the food will come to our table with one thing wrong or missing, and my mom will sorta freak out and be like "i always hate going out to eat, this sucks, this just ruined my night, service is always terrible here, etc" and she's miserable for the rest of the night and it's so jarring and uncomfortable because 95% of the time, going out to eat is a good or neutral experience at worst. so i have to walk on eggshells and listen to her bitch about it... meanwhile the issue is, like, very fixable and takes maybe 5 minutes. or another example is that tonight i went into the kitchen to check on my baking banana bread and my dad was cleaning the counter and i asked how much longer he would be because i wanted to know if i'd space to set the banana bread down and let it cool and he immediately got extremely angry (??) and was like, "i'm CLEANING, you're not gonna rush me." like bro please fucking chill out, yk? and because i've always been surrounded by this, even when i've tried to do better i've been ignored or shot down or talked over or treated like i'm crazy. in a restaurant, i might have an order messed up, i just shrug and say "eh it happens it'll be fixed soon" and just relax. or someone in my house asks when i'll be done cleaning because they need a space and i'm like "hold on just give me about five minutes" bc why tf would i be mad? and my family gets CRAZY bro like they lose their shit. another example is everything that's been going on with me recently -- sudden, unexplained seizures, waiting on my eeg (this friday!!!) to start getting some data. and when i tell my dad how long i have to wait for results for the eeg he loses his shit, he's like "there's no way, that's not acceptable, that can't be true, you need to speak to a manager" (sigh). anyway i guess it's just nice to know that i'm not a huge fucking asshole for not being as angry as they are about shit like that. sometimes they say things that make me feel like shit, or there's an implication that i need to cater to their rage, if that makes sense, obviously i'm not perfect, that's why i'm in therapy in the first place. i have MASSIVE issues from growing up in this environment. it's disheartening to try and be better in a house that often punishes self-improvement, but it's also really fucking satisfying because now i know i wasn't the problem. idk if that makes sense idk i'm just realizing a lot of things.

"I'm really disappointed in múttrstaff for not removing spam days after being kindly asked to do so." Finally, somebody else calling them out for their incompetence! Seriously, i recommend boosting that post so it stays permanent and people don't forget this nonsense. It's currently at 89%. You'll find it scrolling below.

Why am I not the smart kid anymore? I used to get all A's. Every single class was an A. It was like that in elementary, middle, and my first 2 years of high school. Now I can barely pass Chemistry or Geometry. My parents are being hardasses about my grades now. I've started sobbing in my Geometry class before and the teacher just kicked me out of the test and said I was being "dramatic". It really hit me hard cuz Im always the dramatic one. I have anger issues, I hate them, and I try to keep them down, but my dad always makes me pissed off. Its not like I can talk to him. And its my mom too. I love her, but she just is so extra. I passed out cuz I starved myself and she called me "dramatic" again and dragged me to the couch. I love my family, but my grandparents seem to be in a competition on whos gonna die first. I hate my grandpa and want him to die, but I know Im gonna break if my grandma dies. I really dont think I can make it through this year. Everything seems so bland. Halloween doesnt even feel like Halloween anymore. Everythings so loud too. I have 3 essays due in english that are due next week and I havent even gotten an idea on what to write about. Ive also been like ignoring my gf. I feel like the shittest bf for it, but I dont have the energy for it anymore. She lives 3 cities away and her parents dont like me. I feel like Im just rambling at this point and its my first vent on this site and like idk.

Why? I never hear the tv when I come in.why does he start playing it at night? Why does he stay up until 3 or 4? GO TO SLEEP! What is wrong with this man. A vampire. He obviously sleeps during the day for some reason

Does anyone ever feel like theyre just the extras in the life of everyone else? Like they cant do the scene without you but its not about you its never about you. Like your whole life youre just a support character for everyone around you. People always pour all their shit on me but who is there for me when I need to spill mine? I feel like not a single person in my life truly cares to listen when I have something going on they just expect me to keep showing up over and over and over. Im tired. Im worn so thin ive even tried distancing myself from said people and thats became a thing like im 1 step away from blowing up but what good does it do when I know it wont change anything. It wont change how them people treat me or anyone else for that matter. I am tired.