@MentallyIll

Why does my life seem too much right now? I'm always the light for other people, in fact that's what I live for is making others happy. I can't even make myself happy, I hate my body, my hair, my skin, everything about myself makes me want to cry. Ive cried so much this year that my eyes can't even take it anymore. I just want someone to be there for me yk? Ask if I'm okay, how I'm doing, or just a simple hug. I hate studying and it feels like that's all i ever do. It's getting harder to keep my silly at up at school, my mom doesn't seem to give two shits about my mental health. The only thing she cares about is my grades and missing assignments. I'm too fucking tried to do anything and it's weighing me down. Making me depressed, unmotivated, and i have no one to talk to about any of it. And it's just like why the fuck do i even try? As long as i have good grades my mom is happy. I make others happy, that's good! I just want to die to escape all of this. All this pain feels like its consuming me and taking over my thoughts. Music barley helps anymore and SH feels like it's getting dull. Nothing is helping me anymore I'm a lost cause. I always have been. I really hate my life.

"Name one thing you carried today that nobody noticed." I worked hard today and when i come home i just work more. Its a lot for me because I also am having a relationship crisis right now all while having to study for this math test (i think its tmmr) its like no one cares to even ask how I'm doing. It doesn't take that much to just ask if I'm okay man..