@Modern_Prom

I didn't even know him for very long but I still think about this little fawn we had to put to sleep. I cared for him for 3 days because we were hoping he had white muscle disease, but an x-ray instead confirmed he had been trampled and his back was broken. The vet tried to sedate him but he just wouldn't go under and so I just. I held him as he twitched and tried to fight the euthanasia drug. It felt so awful.

I have to collect bugs for a class and why do I feel bad. This little caterpillar was going about his day harming no one and I have to snatch him and put him in the freezer

Someone who I used to be friends with introduced me to what they call emotional permanence and yeah I lack it completely. When I am sad it is like my entire life I have been miserable and will always be miserable. What I am feeling is the truth I have been denying all along. And when I’m happy none of that matters at all and I am vibing. What

It think I’m terrible at masking. It seems like everyone else around me with things like autism, depression, or anxiety has learned how to mask it perfectly. They dress normally. They talk normally. They have friends and they have little issue making new ones. They’ve all perfectly learned how to hide their struggles and I’m just. Here. Visibly tired all the time, often moving weird because of physical pain, unable to make eye contact most of the time, i dress weird, I wear my headphones because my anxiety and sensory issues are too bad otherwise, if I get too emotional sometimes I might break down in public and have to rush to a bathroom to hide

I legitimately think I am developmentally delayed in some way due to my autism and trauma. I feel like I’m behind my peers in so many ways and I often find myself connecting a lot more to people younger than me. I don’t belong here in college where I’m graduating in less than a year and will have to get a job

I sort of made friends with these two girls at my college but. One of them made a joke about how I look very autistic and. She’s not wrong and it was a joke I’d normally find funny but hearing it from someone I knew for less than an hour honestly hurt a lot. Maybe it’s just bc my period is coming in a few days and I’m emotional but it felt like a reminder that I don’t and will never fit in

It’s annoying how knowing I’m miserable because of my cycle does nothing to actually stop me being miserable and it feeling completely valid and justified

Wolves are honestly pretty low down on the list in terms of large predators that could be a risk to people! Wolves generally stay away from people. In Yellowstone, there has NEVER been a documented wolf attack since reintroduction. You want to know what animal DOES commonly injure and kill people? Bison. I hate the fearmongoring so much. All this because farmers can’t be assed to try any other method to protect their livestock than shooting wolves. Not like humans got by for thousands of years without guns and managed to protect their herds using other methods…

It’s probably not Great how much the whole proship discourse means to me but idk man. I’m both an extremely traumatized individual and a freak. I feel like those are important parts of me. I don’t even mind people being weirded out, but fuck, as someone who HAS been groomed and assaulted, it is actually pretty triggering to be called a predator over fanfiction. Especially when it’s over a work that I made more for coping purposes rather than sex purposes. It seems to be really hard for people to understand that I can both write this stuff to cope and to get off. A lot if people in these spaces do both, actually. I also just wish a lot that anyone was willing to have an actual conversation rather than just screaming accusations. I actually do love talking about this issue and I love hearing differing opinions when they are well thought out, but that’s so rare to find.

I still find it immensely funny that there’s a non zero chance the Corporate Clash devs retconned Misty being a stalker because of me,, imagine being so pissed off by fanfic you flatten your own character 😭