@beatzzpurminote

when they ask what i want for christmas but i cant say "to hold ______ in my arms for the first time" so i just say "idk get me some new pajamas or something"

DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME IS FUCKING BULLSHIT FYM IT WAS 1:59 A MINUTE AGO AND NOW ITS 1:00 AGAIN YOU BUGGIN BUH BUH BUGGIN PMOOOOO

i couldnt even go 3 days without having a fucking mental breakdown and destroying my room for some reason wow

it will officially be halloween in just a few hours for me so heres a PSA. leave your preppy pink cowboy lorax and bibble costumes at home PLEASE LET THE JOKE DIE IT WAS NEVER FUNNY ANYWAY. gosh

i kinda hate how everyone on the internet will bash you for being neutral about things. like its ok to not know whose side to take (with the exception of big issues that have obvious "bad guys" and "good guys". for example pro-life vs pro-choice the right argument is obviously pro-choice, or in israel vs palestine you should obviously be supporting palestine. and no im not going to debate about this in the comments). genuinely who am i supposed to vote for when politician A kills puppies and politician B kills kittens????? its especially stupid for things like shipcourse. im a proshipper but honestly theres a lot of harm being done by both proshippers AND antis and honestly being neutral is the safest, most inoffensive option. so i see why neushippers exist. shipcourse discussions will simply waste your time so no, youre not evil and immature for trying to avoid them. but i digress. lets just stop expecting people to immediately form opinions on things ok???

i cant believe my mom genuinely thinks i cut off all contact with them just because theyre not from america and she told me to cut them off. i didnt do it and i never would but i had to lie and say i did. i cant believe she thinks i actually would. i dont care how unsafe or inappropriate you think it is im NOT cutting off someone ive known for almost 2 years and abandoning all the memories and inside jokes and shared interests we have. not to mention if they werent still in my life id like immediately kms not gonna lie

i was whispering to my friend in class today. REALLY QUIETLY MIND YOU. in fact A. multiple other people were talking and B. nobody even noticed me talking until the fuckass teacher stopped everything to glare at me and say "e-excuse me? 😡😡😡" like what the fuck is your problem. im not even disturbing anything go back to reading our stupid little book or whatever tf obviously i said "what???" because nobodys gonna do that to me. and hes like. "what do you mean 'what'??? stop talking now 😡😡😡" i know its not that deep but i did really want to cry

life is so fucking boring. i know some of you are saying "well be glad you arent as busy as some of us!" or whatever but idc i just. i dont enjoy anything anymore and nothing feels worth it anymore. and frankly i think my last post was bullshit. it has nothing to do with them at all im just trying to find excuses for being uninterested in life so i dont sound suicidal or some shit my birthday already passed. christmas is in months. adulthood is in 2 years. and no matter what school is just around the corner for me and yes, it is all i think about sometimes. i wish so badly that exceptions could be made and i could get to miss school more or get away with not doing anything ever but thats unrealistic because im genuinely just another cog in the machine

nothing that doesnt involve them sounds interesting to me i wish i could just sleep and not wake up until 2028 when im at the airport waiting for them to find me im so bored rn but literally if it doesnt involve them i dont want it. i dont want to be like this either

i love them so much i cant wait for all this to be over and i can hug them and hold them and get them everything they could ever want or need